More hard truth

Well, I got to know more hard truth about Pi's leaving from NEWS. After knowing that, I can't help but feel hurt. Not sure if I should use the word hurt. But that's the first word that came to my mind. Knowing the quarrel, the deduction about his rejection to bangumi, how he dragged on for 3 years probably for the sake of testing. Everything.

I am not saying that I will no longer support him. Probably in this world, you have to sacrifice someone to save yourself too. (Learnt from kaiji 2 movie that I watched in the plane) So everyone fends for himself. There's nothing wrong about him choosing what he wants to do the most.

I'm just sad that how he probably didn't want to continue NEWS and did it half-heartedly. I like him for his voice. Which he probably is unable to perform as good as many other singers out there, but I don't mind. I like him for his style, probably my pace but sometimes the way he sees things amazes me very much. And I like him for how junsui he is actually. But is he? I'm not sure. I just hope that, his wavering led him on for 3 years. I hope it wasn't like what others had deducted, that he was using NEWS as a back-up just in case he fails.

But never once did he not say he felt safe in NEWS. Being protected.

He admitted that he lacked the leadership, or the ability, or he's just simply not kiyou.

All I want to voice out is that, I have liked and supported Pi so far, it is not as easy as a snap of fingers and I can dislike him immediately. Moreover, I do not wish to do so.

Yappari Pi fan da.

I am not finding excuses for Pi. He has to face the music. He is facing all the consequences now. But what I want to do is that, support Pi. Support the Pi that once had everything, but lost everything, and now slowly learning and trying his best to gain back what he used to have.

He may need this process to learn. To learn how to be stronger, how to be better, how to not take things for granted.

NEWS on the other hand, I am really sorry for how they had to go through those 3 years. Pi might not have yaruki. But I want to believe that during that 3 years, what we've seen are not made-ups. The bonds must have tightened. They must have felt bonding, teamwork and friendship too. I may be delusional. But that's what I want to believe.

The NEWS now is great. I admit. They probably thought of everything that fulfills the fans' desires. They probably has the best combi now and is able to shine much more than before. Like what I said before, Pi helped through the starting. I don't know. His efforts are recognised. But why are people only seeing his fault?

About Ryo being forced to leave NEWS, I am sorry too. Actually, suddenly, I just lost faith. Right now. I don't know what am I doing exactly. I don't know who I like and who I am supposed to support. I don't know. It is trying to tell me that, I'm liking a person who is harming the other group that I like. But the group that I like, is probably not what I like anymore since it is no longer the same as before. I want to see ryochan. Should I just rush down to the gorakudoh in the morning tml and buy one cheap ticket?

Fate is not with me. I will not go.

Anyway, I don't know if Pi and Ryo are still friends or not. But I am definitely depressed by the fact that that thing actually happened and it happened that way. Could you believe it was during March? Last year. There could have been. There could have been. But why.

I'm feeling sad now because, I like Pi so much, and not just because of his personality when he is alone. In fact all along what I have been following after I liked him was NEWS.

Anyway before I forget, today's concert. He mentioned Tego and I was screaming like hell. Then he mentioned Chankapaana. Of course, I don't know if he was saying that just to

1. Gain back trust/fame/nakayoshi with NEWS
2. trying to show that NEWS is not a taboo word in Pi, that he is not running away from the matter or them
3. show that he is still concern about NEWS (but in actual fact maybe a hypocrite)

To be frank, at one moment, I thought he should refrain from touching NEWS/matter/past matters. It was part of him, but I still think the time is not right yet. It may show that he's trying too hard. In actual fact, nobody knows if he actually still stays in touch with them.

I was happy. That he was willing to touch on NEWS. I was moved to tears when he performed Kibou yell. But, yappari 6P NEWS shika ikenai.

To some extent, I was so sensitive that he had some dance moves with the pinkie too. But before that, that pinkie in Chankapaana already reminded me of Daite Senorita. So using Pinkie has nothing wrong. Just that they all came at too similar timings.

Tegoshi no "koneko chan"... Yappari, 6P NEWS saikou. I just thought of how Tego will shout something random and mushy and Pi will just hit his head. That I don't think is made up. If they were too rigid, they wouldn't be able to do it.

Tabun Pi couldn't be a leader. But if he had stayed on in NEWS, with the leader changed, how would everything be like now?

Well, things can never be undone right now. I don't know how will it move on from here. All I hope is that they will all do well in the future.

Ryo chan, I want to support you too! But muzukashisugiru yo~ Too ex, too far.. If only I can see you this trip.

So a summary of Pi's con.

He sang Ai Texas, Daite, Nayami no mori no mannaka, dance jam, touch you, some other songs, live. Nayami is half song. + chorus. Daite and all are cuz of encore, so definitely live. Gomen ne had a very slow version!! It was good! But not live.

That will be all. Highlights are, nice con, good suspense, pretty omiyage :) and super hot dance moves.

Ok shall sleep now!!