Great 2017!

I decided to type a short entry.
I think I'm more used to flailing with Chinese but nevermind I shall try hard here.

Basically Code Blue is back for season 3!!!

Actually I just wanted to jot down the fact that I cried badly yesterday when I watched CB2. I really didn't remember that it was that sad. I think CB1 had more impact than CB2. Or maybe CB2 is just too depressing for me to watch it over and over. The only scene in my head for CB2 was in first episode where Aizawa used a hand to support himself in the moving ambulance while performing CPR on a boy with another hand.

Oh no. I feel like watching Pi in a bed scene already. Someone help me. Why have I become so wu...

That CPR scene in the ambulance gave me some xiaxiang. Like those push on the wall kind. BUT!!! I a bit cannot stand him doing with a girl leh. Unless someone I'm approved of which I can't think of any now. So I guess it will be better if he does it with a guy (OI).

So back to CB3 announcement. It was such an exciting evening. It was in the evening when someone noticed the main cast names appearing in the Fuji morning news preview. Then it was obvious that something related to CB will be announced. And since last year there were rumours of CB3 and Pi starring in July's Getsuku. So all the more it was very much confirmed. While we stayed up in the night to chat about it, the newspaper leaks came. And it was confirmed. I was really so happy that I was awake till 3am, and I forced myself to sleep because of work the next day. It was officially announced on 10 Mar.

I can never express enough, of how I love this series. It was my first medical drama, and so far nothing has beaten it (probably because I don't really watch other series). Just the first episode in CB1 shocked me so much. I don't really know how long it took me to understand, but the reason why they require doctor-heli service is to prolong the survival rate of the injured at scenes which are less accessible and restricted. To administer on-site operations. And all. So it was really interesting to see how they act, with all the rare cases.

I think I have so much feel I can type a long entry instead. There are so many things I can talk about CB series. Anyway I really did not expect myself to like it so much and I really finished the whole series in a day. Ended up being emo the next few days and subconsciously doing that hand movement as Aizawa sensei.

Then when the news was announced, I was really elated. So far only the 5 main casts has been confirmed. I really hope that they are able to retrieve as much original casts as possible. Then I think, it will really be good to just maintain with Hanabi, rather than choosing another ending theme. If they had changed in CB2 then that's fine. However, now that CB1 and 2 shared the same theme song, it would not sound nostalgic enough if they were to change the theme song. So I'm praying hard for the same theme song.

Then I saw someone commenting saying that only with the original scriptwriter then will it be considered a proper sequel. So yes, I am praying for that too. Basically, if you want to do it, do it good. Sekkaku you have the 5 mains gathered for this production. FUJI please do a good job.

It got very controversial recently as well. Basically Fuji's getsuku is not doing as well as it did in the past. Ratings are falling, and the current season hit a 5%(?) and it was terrible. After Pi's 59, the next johnnys that had acted in getsuku slot was yamada and it did not help. It was rumoured last year that in order to revive getsuku, fuji had arranged the next 3 seasons to be all starred by Johnnys, starting with Aiba, Pi and Kimutaku. Up till now, both Aibe and Pi were hit on. It was obvious that Fuji is determined. Because they did something unexpected, this time.

Well, Aiba's drama has going into promo period, and that current season is probably ending soon in 1 or 3 episodes. Then, it came the CB3 announcement. It is unusual to announce a drama so ahead of schedule. Because the next season is not even airing yet. This had also upset some aiba fans, because of the unfair treatment they think that Aiba had received.

The only thing that is not really acting towards Aiba's favour is probably CB3 gaining more attention than his drama. Not to mention Fuji even went ahead with a 60s cm to promote CB3. I think why the fans were unhappy was because Pi over-shined Aiba? However you probably can't deny the fact that CB did well previously, with its interesting plot.

I think I shall not go on further.

Anyway I am very excited for CB3!! And the first thing I thought was, Pi do u still remember your yakutsukuri?? *laughs* And it will be set at 7 years later. I can't imagine how much Aizawa sensei will grow and mature. But that also mean he is old... *laughs* And are you sure you want to touch on relationship issues?

Ahhhh..

Because 7 years have passed, it can be that they are all single. But if things were to develop, 7 years is indeed too long a period. I hope they don't start with Aizawa already married with children. Though I would love to see him in such character.

I think I have really spammed much. I should first focus on April's drama, Bokuun~ The return of Kame and Pi combi since 2005. And Pi with that super young and cute looking hairstyle.


<333333333333333

Happy 9th Anniversary

ok!
Today marks my completion of 9th year in NEWS fandom. It has come such a long way.. Suddenly I just felt like reminiscing the past a little..

I don't exactly rmb how it happened. But I considered 01/07/07 as my anni date cuz I mass dl-ed NEWS songs on that day. But now that I have the BP understanding, I wonder if I can consider myself a fan that day anymore. Whatever.

Should be from watching kibou yell PV and got like diandao by pi then just like them all of a sudden. Then I think during August I bought their NEWS DVD. I wonder if it was already released or a new released. After that I immediately ordered their singles, and new release like Pacific and Weeeek. And it was never ending for me, till now? *laughs*

Then it was Taiyou no Namida and Pi's movie in 2008. 2009 I went for Pi's solo con, then 2010 I went for LIVEx3. 2011 I went for SGSB and Pi and Ryo announced separation from NEWS. 2012 was EROP and NEWS comeback con. 2013 was happy con and ANUDE. Nothing for 2014 and 2015, and here I am in 2016, the 9th year of fandom.

Anyway, letting go is always difficult especially for me who has the collector spirit.. But you can't deny the fact that the wallet is getting thinner and the interest is no longer there. It has come to a point where I don't feel excited for their new releases anymore.

The only problem I have now is to convey my feelings to the rest. Of course I'm not obliged to, but if I were not to I probably don't know how to behave. Not that I know how to behave after I announce.

Anyway, I am officially stopping my monetary support for NEWS. I really don't know if this is considered some sort of graduation. But to be with a grp of frens who buy their stuffs and talk about them, it is best to make my stand clear I think.

I still went to listen to their new song earlier during lunch. It is not as if I hate them or don't want to know their updates. I guess I just don't need to know their updates as much.

Finally, I am losing interest in their songs. I think their style has changed a lot over time. Not a bad thing, but it just did not suit my liking or maintain my interest in them.

So that's all!

I'm gonna focus on Pi~

And frankly speaking it is not easy for me to get interested in something. With the exception of the otome drama CD which I got hooked on recently. *laughs*

So Happy 9th Anniversary to my NEWS fandom.
Ima made arigatou~

From five to nine

Finally I can talk about my views on this new drama announcement.

Firstly, omedetou!!! I don't know how Pi really felt about this drama offer cuz it's yet again another shoujo manga adaptation but I'm so glad that the producer thought that only he could match that role.

Before I touch on how I reacted when I heard that news, I want to talk about one particular interview Pi had.

I seriously forgot where this interview was published on, but he was asked on what kind of roles he would like to challenge next and he replied serial killer, homeless, BL. I got so excited when I saw "BL". But first I need someone who can match his beauty or it will be a pain to watch. I didn't imagine much and I don't have a CP for him so I can't exactly fangirl. But I had fun thinking if Pi suits the role of an uke or seme more. *laughs*

I think that interview happened before or during Algernon's airing. In Algernon, he had a very simple bed scene with the female lead. I didn't get enough of it and his face was expressionless. Usually I dislike people saying that he has not skills and that he has no expression. But that scene, it was quite obvious. It's as if he hasn't got used to romance scenes. It was too wei mei and you couldn't expect much too. I think watching him in otona kiss ep 1 was the real him. He was so full of expressions.

So when I knew that he was picked for 5-9, I really got excited because it was a smut manga. *laughs* Just that I remembered that it was very complicated and the girl slept with another guy and the story was draggy and it seemed like the girl didn't like the monk from the start anyway. But thanks to this news I went to read the manga all over again and I understood that the girl had fallen for the monk right from the start. But she tried to deny it and used many means to get rid of that feeling, including sleeping with another guy whom she thought she had feelings for. Not 100% good manga for me as I dislike dishonesty especially not being faithful but since she admitted that she had feelings for the monk right from the start I sort of forgiven her.

I didn't exactly sub Pi into the monk as I read the manga, but I really found the monk to be kakkouii. :)

The bed scene is good, the bathtub scene too. I really hope they would include those scenes and I want to see Pi in it. I am just being pervert. If Pi could kiss keiko that well in Buzzer Beat, then he can definitely do better in 5-9. He kissed well in Algernon too. Kinkyori Renai is just kid's play.

Oh please give me the bed scenes.

And the bathtub scene.

I like satomi by the way, since Rich Man Poor Woman.

Please give me a sexy aroused monk yamapi. *licks*

Oh no what have I become?

Because I have many thoughts these few years about Yamapi

I read a bit on my older posts, and I came across one about Cross Space. It was about Pi playing "World Quest" on his radio show.

So during early this year, NEWS released "Kaguya". I felt sorry but I did not listen to the full song nor watched the PV and performance before the release date. I also did not listen to the DL I got after the release date.

Then as I was reading through weibo, someone said Pi was being too good and all and then I realised that Pi played "Kaguya" on his radio show. Of course I went to find it and listened to it. So Pi commented a little and I don't remember the details now. All I remembered was that, he played the song, fully, with no interruption at all. That was the first time I heard the full Kaguya, on Pi's radio show, how ironic. His songs were never played in full, as he always played it last. And the songs that he introduced during his show, I recalled him always talking while it started or when it was about to end. There might be times where he played songs fully too. Anyway, he played the song fully.

I was touched to tears, not because I could listen to the full version but to how Pi was.

And too many small small episodes like how he chose 2003 for Sound Tripper and he played Kibou Yell as the bgm. He also mentioned a little about NEWS. Then when he chose 1996 he only briefly mentioned that was the year he joined Johnny's. And after 3 months on Sound Tripper then he was able to introduce 2012 and played Ai, texas. How pure can he be. And so humble.

Then I remembered watching this SMAP SMAP episode where the members switched roles and Shingo became the guest. I think it was all coincidental and yet fateful. I don't usually watch SXS nowadays and when I watched shingo mentioned about pi.

He said there is this person whom he gave his phone no to with initiation. That was when I knew that Shingo is so careful with his personal number that he only gives his manager's no to people who asked, let alone giving his private no to some on his will. He said that's the first person he gave his no to, and that was Pi. *laughs*

I think I need to move on to my real post about Pi's drama if not I can't sleep tonight.

I am a Sweetie :) 山P一生応援

Alright, it has been a long long time since I have updated this blog. I probably lost the habit of blogging, if not the content of my "blog" is probably not appropriate for uploading.

Anyway, it has been a while and I think I missed the contents of this blog. Then today, I realised some hidden emotions that are not healthy and I needed someone to clear it out for me. I had someone in my mind but unfortunately she did not reply me as of now, so I thought coming to this blog would be a good idea too, at least for me to pen down my thoughts.

I think it is better that I note down the points before I forget them, but I don't think I have that many things to address on either:

- My emotions?
- Pi's new drama with Satomi

There you go, not more than 2 points and my main purpose was the first anyway.

So, on 7 Oct 2011 Pi announced that he would leave NEWS to pursue his solo career. That was a hard time for me as I totally supported the 6-nin NEWS then. Because of that, he was labelled with many many bad comments that I don't want to recall now, not that I can anyway.

After which, he announced his EROP solo con during 2012 and I attended it. It happened that NEWS comeback con was also held during that period, so I had the chance to cover both Pi and NEWS concerts. I also met up with some friends during that tour and I had a chat with this one friend, about Pi and NEWS. She is a Massu fan, and with this I think I will be able to recall who she is. Well, even without that clue, till today, I managed to remember that conversation we had anyway.

So I was told that, according to a very accurate inside news, Pi had the intention to leave NEWS as early as early 2011. That was when he had just started his solo asia tour con. Not to mention that "Fighting Man" was only released 3rd Nov 2010, so it hadn't been that long. According to that information, NEWS was supposed to have a new single release during that period, but Pi rejected the recording. From what I understood, even Ryo tried to persuade Pi to join the recording, and they even scheduled it such that it fit his asia tour. However, Pi did not want to record and he finally announced to his ex-members that he wanted to quit NEWS.

Then here comes the details from kei-chan and all, about how he went to the places hit by the tsunami during march 11 and how he saw fans of NEWS carrying their singles with them to flee and how sad he felt cuz he could not tell them the truth that Pi wanted to quit NEWS. So it tallied, I will say.

Then this friend continued, about how irresponsible Pi was, that he could have left even earlier when NEWS had just come back from hiatus and not when NEWS was finally gaining popularity and all. Pi even wrote a letter to himself during EROP con, and my friend read it too. Therefore she said Pi should have left during 2009 and all. Anyway, all I remembered was that she had a very very bad impression of Pi, and that if I had not stayed as NEWS fan she would probably not keep in touch with me? Or maybe it was along the line like how she felt I was sincere/loyal cuz I stayed with NEWS even though Pi has left. Either way, she disapproves of Pi. She said she used to watch Pi dramas when Pi was in NEWS, now that Pi has left NEWS, she is not going to watch his drama or support him anymore. Not that she had done so in the past I think.

Anyway, jumping to recent, during Feb or Mar of this year, I had a dinner gathering with a group of NEWS fans including her. I totally forgot why I chose to wear that "YOU" necklace but I just felt like it. Then suddenly one of them spotted my necklace and they chatted about it a bit. I thought I saw her cringed on hearing "Yamapi". During that short conversation, it was obvious (to me) that she was not interested and might even be annoyed. Maybe I was being too sensitive and she might be all ok with that. She probably just didn't have any comments but to be frank when the topic was on my necklace I was so alert and I totally checked out her reactions and responses. And I totally tried to stop the whole topic and wished they didn't mention about Pi at all.

There is also another friend, from eighter fandom, that had mentioned that she doesn't like Yamapi, but since jr times I guess.

It was all long-winded above and finally I am about to touch on the main topic. That is, I don't think I am proud to be a Pi fan at all. Or rather, I don't have the courage to declare myself as a Pi fan openly because I was afraid of bringing bad feelings and emotions to the people around me. I feel very very proud what Pi accomplished something amazing, or whenever I see positive comments about him. I still feel very very fortunate and glad that I am a fan of him. What I am trying to bring across now is that, in order not to bring bad feelings to others (not exactly giving a bad impression because it doesn't make me look bad at all, it is just that "pi" might bring bad feelings to people, but I hate it that it has become this way), I avoid Pi's topic in my conversations totally, especially around the people whom I think will get affected by me mentioning him.

So I totally stop talking about him, except with people whom I know are ok with his topics. Even so, I kept it to minimal. I don't even know why but I started to get wary and cautious that I felt that it was like a disgrace to be a Pi fan. I don't know what impression people have of him and I assumed that it all stayed at that period of him being called disloyal or ungrateful or whatsoever.

When I thought that I had moved on, I probably have not. And I only realised it now.

There were times where I thought I was spamming people with Pi's news that I didn't dare to retweet anything I saw.

So, basically, I may have stopped crying on 7 Oct now but deep inside I am still holding on to the past. About the massu fan I mentioned above, I happened to see a chat between her and another NEWS fan and they were discussing about Algernon. I had a shock because all along I had the mindset that she didn't like Pi and she would never ever watch anything with Pi. Probably she still is, but I could understand from that chat that she did feel the change in Pi, or the improvement. She probably saw his efforts. Not that she can be approved of Pi now, but definitely her opinion of Pi has changed a little, in a good way.

Then there were times during a gathering, that someone will bring up Pi's new drama/movie and they even discussed about it a bit. I even heard people telling me they like Pi. Of course their main is still other groups.

A few days ago, news of Pi's new drama was announced. The upcoming autumn season's getsu9 will be starred by him and Satomi. a week ago I was reading cheese and when they wrote "the male lead is him?!" and I thought it will never be Pi, since he had a movie news release anyway. So when the news was announced, I was happily forwarding the weibo. Other than putting some random comments in the group chat with pi fans, and messaging Tomo san, I was practically being happy and excited all alone on weibo and twitter.

Then the eighter fan suddenly asked on this group chat we shared with some other NEWS fan and I was shocked. Firstly she mentioned she doesn't like Pi. That's all. Anyway I was shocked. In the end she just wanted some confirmation cuz she didn't have enough data for her to search online for more details. I was very glad but instead of going the fangirling mode and talk about Pi I chose to divert the direction to Satomi and it was quite successful. Basically, this is what I have always been doing. Avoid Pi topics and try to divert and all. Even when people ask whose fan I am I will get very reluctant to reveal that I am a Yamapi fan. I can be very frank with people outside of fandom. But when I am with people inside the fandom, somehow I don't know how to act as a Pi fan.

I can't get all proud and say I am a fan of Pi as if he is some erai hito and I am acting as if Pi was a waruikoto shita hito. But how long do I want to stay apologetic?? Not everyone forgives and forgets but I think it is time for me to officially move on. I think it is ok to not talk about him if no one is interested about him. But if I'm getting all cautious to avoid topics on him then that is not healthy anymore. I don't wan to make Pi an idol whom I can't be proud of. He is and there are so many accomplishments that he had attained till now. Pi is great, I am the one who is making him look like a sinner, with my attitude.

I have finally realised that it is give and take. Of course I am not going to start blabbering about Pi to everyone but I think I should just let nature take its course and just talk about Pi whenever I feel like it. If there are people who really can't take it, they will let me know and then I can understand till which degree can I talk about.

Basically, be proud.

And today, I think I just had a very short but enjoyable conversation with some eighters. The topic was on Pi (I think I am so grateful to this kt/arashi fan seriously) then I talked about his drama abit. I was saying how it was a little explicit but Satomi had had it with Jun in Shitsuren choco-something. Then I asked to confirm that there was a bathtub scene in Shitsuren cuz in 5-9 there is going to be a bathtub scene too. Then suddenly one turned over and said Pi's moobs are big and another continued what if it's bigger than Satomi's. Then I said it'll be gyaku, satomi grabbing pi's moobs. Then it went on to b-cup d-cup and hoso macho and how hoso macho is chuan yi xian shou tuo yi you rou. Or something like that I might have forgotten already.

I think Pi has always been an idol I am proud of. Now I need to be a fan that he can be proud of too.

今、胸張って言えるよ。
山Pのファンです。
Sweetieです。

EROP Concert Loveless Perf

Just want to spam somewhere about my feelings for listening to live Loveless sung by Pi!!! I can't find anyone to share this happiness or whatever you call it.. *cries*

I hadn't been able to complete EROP DVD until yesterday. Therefore it was my first time watching the encore part. Of course I was exhilarated when I realised that it was live, and I couldn't help but spammed my friend. Then it was followed by Ai Texas (which definitely was live), and Ero. I always had the perception of  Ero being lip-synced, even during encore segment. But for the first time, I didn't know how to differentiate between his lip-syncing and live anymore. Could it be that I was mistaking him for lip-syncing all along when he wasn't? Or probably it was that only show where he sang more songs live? I was there for 4 shows, and I thought only Fukuoka show's Nayami no Mori was live fully. Masaka all YokoAri shows were also live NnM, just that I kept mistaking or suspecting the last chorus to be lip-synced just because it was too perfect?

Oh dear, how could I doubt my darling?!?!

I feel so lost now. I am so lost that I don't even know if the feelings I have now are called "being lost".

Anyway, after watching that concert yesterday, it was like I fell for Pi all over again, just deeper. Then I didn't dare to watch or listen to that particular performance, because I was afraid that I will want to meet him more the more I watch it. It was like these few weeks/months I was not so focused on him anymore, and suddenly this happened and I was so afraid that I will become so obsessed of him once again.

But then I went to listen again, that particular performance. Just as expected, I was overwhelmed with emotions. Because I was watching with a friend yesterday in a more opened area, I was able to suppress my feelings. But just now I was sort of alone and could immerse myself into the concert atmosphere, I couldn't help but was overwhelmed with emotions. I cried so hard during the second verse, where he did not sing for a while, and suddenly went into the verse right before chorus.

At that moment, his voice sounded so live that it astonished (to fill with sudden and overpowering surprise or wonder; amaze) me. Of course all along I knew he could sing, and I love his voice so much. Which was why during lives I always look out for his singing, and will be so touched whenever he is singing live. But somehow, I just felt that

Please tell me how not to love him. His voice was so beautiful. I knew he could do it. Or rather, that is how his voice would sound like. It was his voice that made me fell in love with him in the first place.

And that performance, was like one best performance which I wished I was there. He had Loveless as encore song for SGSB con, but during chorus part, he left it for the fans to sing, which I felt was incomplete, because all along I had wanted to hear Loveless live.

His voice was so beautiful, wonderful, mesmerizing and I don't know enough words to describe the awesomeness of it. I literally melted. I was so full of emotions that I really cried. His voice never fails to impress me. Of course he may not be a perfect singer, but that is enough. All I longed for was his live singing. And I was so impressed of how well he sang during that perf. Or all along, if all those perfect singing was part of his voice too.

Once again, I have fallen for you.

増田貴久

Nwpana10ve_sato@Twitter

俺はそもそもイタズラされるのも、するのも好きじゃない。でもエイプリルフールはいつもソワソワするんだろね、何かしたくて（笑）。人に不快感を与えず、みんなが楽しくなるようなイタズラが思いつかなくて、結局何もしないまま毎年終わってる。手越はよくイタズラするよ。昔、山下（智久）君の靴の底をガムテープで床に貼ったことがあって。山下君はそのまま靴に足をつっこんだから、一歩踏み出そうとして転びそうになってたよ（笑）。山下君もめっちゃいいリアクションしてた。”うわぁぁぁぁ！”って。 

－増田貴久

加藤シゲアキ

dorajindora＠Twitter

「ぶっちゃけ、俺は今でも山下くんと錦戸くんが辞めたことは最善の方法とは考えられない。もちろんがんばっているのも知っているし、尊敬だってしてる。でも、途中で抜けた人がいるってことは、残る者からしたらショックだよ。俺、今でも、ふたりが去っていく最後の背中を覚えているもん。だからさ、あえてそのときの気持ちは忘れないでいようって思って。その思いを持っていれば、それが原動力になって、これからももっと自分を高められる気がするか．．．」

－加藤シゲアキ 

Notes:
ぶっちゃけ　－　うちあける　－　人に知られたくない事実や秘密などを、思い切って隠さずに話す。うちあかす。「思いのたけを―・ける」
最善　－　いちばんよいこと。いちばん適切なこと。

忘れないでいよう

"Secretly, even now I can't regard the quitting of Yamashita kun and Nishikido kun as the best solution. Of course I know that they have been working hard, and I respect them. However, it is a shock to have people pulling out from those who remained. I, even now, still remember the backs of the two when they last left. Therefore, I shall never forget the feelings during the time when we could meet. If I hold these feelings, it will become a driving force, and I feel that I can also improve myself more from now onwards..." 

- Kato Shigeaki 

「俺、今でも、ふたりが去っていく最後の背中を覚えているもん。」
"I, even now, still remember the backs of the two when they last left."

news_picbot@Twitter

あと、俺は２度目のNEWS解散シミュレーションをした。「マッスーと手越はテゴマスを選ぶかもしれないけど、俺と小山はふたりでもNEWSをやっていこうなぁ」なんて話を小山としたこともあったな。だって、俺らにはNEWSしかないから！俺らはずっとNEWSとして音楽活動ができる日、みんなに会える日を待っていたから、簡単に解散するなんて無理。だから、４人を含めてたくさんの人と今後のことについて話し合いをし、NEWSが続けられると決まったときは泣きたいくらいうれしかった。

－加藤シゲアキ 

山下への手紙

山下さんへ

お誕生日おめでとうございます！素晴らしい誕生日を！２８年前のこの日にこの世に生まれてくれたありがとう。

３月１７日に７番目シングル、「怪・セラ・セラ」が発売されたおめでとう！買いましたよ！どれ曲も好きです！でも日本に住んでいないので、スペシャルトランプは募集できなくて残念でした。で、「怪・セラ・セラ」のパフォーマンスは素晴らしかったんです。見てましたよ。いつかライブで演出を見るのを楽しみです。（山Ｐのコンサートを見に行くときかな．．．）

そしてちょっと遅れたけど、初めてテレビ司会させたおめでとう！ちゃんと見てましたよ、毎週。ただ放送時間が早くて、放送の前に帰宅できません。仕方はないか？ところで、山Ｐは本当に一所懸命に頑張っていますよ。段々司会の役になれてきた感じです！良かったんです。頑張ってください！

この前横アリで山Ｐと会ったからはもう八ヶ月を経ちました。はやいですね～会いたいんです。山Ｐに会いたくてたまりません！でもコンサートを前提に会えますか．．．

ちなみに、私は今まだ日本語を勉強しています。山Ｐの頑張っている姿を見ると、「頑張らなきゃいけないわ！」といつも思いました。いつか日本語がうまく使えるように。頑張ります！

最後に、山Ｐがいつも元気いっぱいをくれてありがとう。時々寂しくなったけど、ＪＷＥＢで山Ｐのことを読めるだけで満足します。山Ｐが遠くいても、山Ｐの存在で十分幸せにさせます。だから、これからも頑張っていってください！またいつか会うのを楽しみします。

シンガポールのマウリンより

～＊～＊～＊～＊～＊～＊～＊～

っていう手紙を書いておきました。
もうお誕生日です、山Ｐおめでとう～＾＾
山Ｐファンではもう六周年になります。
はやいですね、時間が。
そして、色んな事情があって、辛い時や悲しい時を何回も乗り越えてきました。
特に去年です。
でも、迷わずに前に進めばいいじゃない？
さっきスマスマを見て、ＮＥＷＳのことを思い出させてしまって、また泣きました。
そうですよね、まだ切ないです。
どうでも受けたくない、事実を。
でも受けるしかない。
また六人の姿が見たい。
今年、夢が叶いますか？
ところで、慶ちゃんもＰにおめでとうって日記で書きました！
嬉しい！
すごく嬉しいです！
ほんっとうに慶ちゃんは優しい～
慶ちゃんありがとう～
大好きです！
山Ｐは返事しますかな～
返事してほしいよ！
本当に幸せです！
ＮＥＷＳファンで、山Ｐファンで、幸せです。
時々辛くなるけど、大丈夫です。
みんながいるから。
ありがとう。

最後に、山Ｐ大好きです！
愛しています！
愛しい山Ｐ！
またいつか会いに行きます！
お誕生日おめでとう～

2013.02.15 Cross Space

AH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!

Actually I didn't exactly screamed out loud. Because I can't listen to it live, I have to wait for others to describe what he had said and what songs he played. And I've always looked through Weibo for the information.

So as I was looking through weibo for updates (not exactly for CS updates), I ran through a post which usually updates the song information on the songs he played. And it was so instant. I just glanced through it, and the word "World Quest" just went into my head and I gasped. The next moment (scientifically, a moment is 30 seconds long), but I would like to say instantly, I had tears in my eyes. How instant. I totally don't understand how my brain could process that information so fast and stimulated the tear glands.

Then I went over to twipple to check and he even talked about Massu!! That was when I realised the content was about him watching Utsu con and how Massu had been wanting to perform RETSUPURA. Probably Pi had been there saying he didn't want to perform that. I wonder what kind of feelings Pi had while watching the concert. Chinamini, how did he get hold of the DVD? *laughs* Do you think NEWS gave him a copy? Does all Johnny's (debuted) gets a copy of released DVD or singles or albums? So of course, I wonder if NEWS would watch ERO con as well.

Anyway, I think it is normal for Pi to talk about NEWS, because he is a solo artiste now, he can speak of anything. Really. But as a group, like NEWS and K8, they are supposed to talk about themselves and group members, therefore it would not be appropriate for them to mention others. At least not that easily.

Will we get to hear Pi's songs on Masterhits one day?

Love you Pi. :)

To be frank I've been amayateiru(?) just like shige, who suddenly wanted to hug the members. I too want to hug someone too, like Pi. How can he do such things which make me want to hug him so much? I don't know how to express myself clearly. But I just felt that, the things he does is so loving, so kind and it just makes you want to love him more.

Ok I shall stop here. And I shall write an update on my Utsu con watching some time again~

Johnny's Countdown 2012 - 2013

Nope, I did not attend the live concert at Tokyo Dome last night. How I wish I did, or I had the ability to. However, I did have an unforgettable experience watching the live broadcast at my friend's house with a few other fangirls. Suddenly, I felt so glad that I was with them and not another group of fangirls. At least I was allowed to react freely.

I am super sleepy right now as I did not have enough sleep for consecutive days. However, if I were to not post a post right now, I'm very sure that I'll drag this for such a long time and never completing this.

My main purpose of this post:

1. Describe how I reacted when I was watching JCD
2. Do a short summary of the aftermath of JCD from all the tweets I have read
3. Finish, cry and sleep. *laughs*

Let's get started then!

So right after kohaku ended, I was tuning into CDTV while all my other friends had JCD on already. I thought I had to have CDTV on as Pi might appear anytime on it. Though the experience last year told me that Pi would only appear around 12+ SGT.

So with that, JCD started. Then we happily watched it as they introduced all the members in the venue. So it went from groups to groups. And yes of course I let out a small scream when NEWS appeared. Then something unexpected happened. Pi appeared!! (with Uchi, though it wasn't as important as Pi) At that moment, I just had to scream out loud! I probably did. I think I definitely did! Then the next thing I know was, I started to tear. I don't know how to describe my feelings then, but I was overwhelmed with emotions and my tears just flowed naturally. Then as JCD moved on, my crying just got worse. *laughs* I can't believe the extent of my crying but I really cried out. So much so that my friends were frantically searching for tissue for me!

It was like a dream come true for me. How long have I ever wished for them to be on the same stage. How long have I wished for them to see each other. How much I wished they could still be as good as before. So I couldn't stop my tears that time, and even right now as I am typing this out I'm starting to tear. What a crybaby.

However, being a Pi-biased, of course I was searching for Pi whenever I can instead of NEWS members. Since they are usually together and that makes it much easier to keep a lookout. Then I noticed how Pi and NEWS were separated, and usually on two ends. If NEWS were to be on the left, they will be the most left and Pi will be on the most right. Though I'm glad that Tackey was always around to keep a lookout for Pi~ *laughs* His beloved Pi.

So maybe I shall touch on a little about Pi's appearance in JCD. I only watched it twice, once was the live which was interrupted by network failure. But I could clearly remember some of the points I wanted to comment. First, when Pi was singing Daite, how cute T&T were acting like fangirls in front of Pi (especially Tackey). And before Pi could do his "Tsk ah", the camera was switched and therefore it wasn't shown on the national TV. *pouts* Why you do this to me Fujitv? I wanted Pi's "Tsk ah" the most didn't you know?

Then they gathered on the stage for the countdown, then right after countdown it's the usual shuffle group singing and first group were 4P consisting of Pi, Tsuyoshi, Okada and 1 more whom I seriously forgot now. But he is another senpai. Higashiyama? Matchy? Nevermind about that. But I saw my precious darling Pi walking towards them, and Tsuyoshi was the one standing beside Pi. So when Pi walked to them, he bowed/nodded slightly!!! So cute! So gentle and humble little Pi~ *laughs* Then Tsuyoshi just sort of patted him on the elbow or back and they started singing together. Warm feelings~

Then Ai, texas, Pi sang! Yeah! Live some more! So proud of him! He had kisumai as his backdancers(?) and he said "aishi~" something which I really can't remember now too. Since it was interrupted during the live so I only watched the actual performance once.

So finally they were gathered on the stage for the final greeting and Pi was on the most right while NEWS most left. Pi was standing just right beside and slightly behind Tackey. And it all started. I was watching the live and I thought why they were shown on air so much. I guess the director still favours my Pi a little. :) While the people were commenting and talking on the stage, Pi was shown twice!! Twice!! Just because Tackey was teasing and playing with Pi and Pi was showing some seriously cute and adorable expressions. Finally Pi was also made to say a few words, I also felt that he was cut slightly by the CM. And after reading a JCD fan report indeed he was waving a little more but due to airtime he was cut by CM. Well I am very contented seeing him on JCD already!!

So it ended, that way, finally. With that, I shall move on to my second part of this post.

In this second part, I realised I have too many to summarise so I shall write them in points first:

- Pi and Ryo wearing same ring
- During Daite what NEWS did
- During K8 what NEWS did
- During NEWS "weeeek" what Pi did
- Other small points about NEWSxPi interactions (Waiting at bench, returning to bench)

And most importantly:

(In sequence)
- TegoPi hug
- ShigePi hug (To be precise, TegoPiShige hug)
- KeiPi hug
- MassuPi hug

And I am 90% sure of the sequence above. So long I did not misread all my tweets. I think I can have a read again just in case. *laughs*

All I want to express (before I go into the details of those interactions), is that.. I don't know how to say it suddenly. But these are really hard to come by. I mean. Not because they are not a group anymore or what. I mean, how their bonds are still strong despite everything. That kind of meaning. Hugging is not something you do to normal people. Maybe the shoulders yes, like arms around the shoulders, but not hugging I believe. In JCD, how many times have the boys really hugged? Maybe Koichi and Tsuyoshi and Tokio and those. Yes, inter-groups too but really not often. Maybe they do hug after shows and I wouldn't know about it. But even so, you don't even see hugging in NEWS concerts. Huggings don't happen often enough to be considered a normal phenomenon in Johnny's and especially NEWS. So I mean, with the members hugging Pi, what more can you say? Gosh I feel like crying suddenly. In fact I had, a few drops though. But suddenly I'm contradicting myself because in Utsu concert Shige did jump-hugged everyone. But that was shige doing it, not the other members and all. But of course, Utsu kon was a different thing. It was a concert full of emotions and gratitude.

Especially when you think of how NEWS had been going through after that matter, how everyone sounded like separated paths, all these little actions are really what I don't want to take granted for.

Since I'm ready right now, shall start with the hugs first. Because that's the most important of all, and since I may not remember the details of other things~

So after reading many many tweets, it seems like Tsuyoshi told everyone that they were free to walk around during that last song performance. By the way, just a short note that after the live broadcast on TV, apparently the senpais (matchy and higashiyama) left first but the rest stayed back to continue the last performance or so.

And Tego, upon hearing it, started to walk towards Pi instead, since before Tsuyoshi said anything they were actually heading for different directions. Seems like Shige was also around Tego during that time, and Shige followed suit. So when Tego was walking towards Pi, there were reports saying that he was looking really joyful and full of spirits. (ニコニコ) In fact that word means he's all smiley~ *laughs* What a cute expression and I can totally imagine that. Then when he was near Pi, he hugged him by the back/from his back. Whichever is that correct expression. *laughs* Then Shige who was also around, hugged him by the front at that moment. And so Pi was sandwiched between Shige and Tego. :D

Now the problem is that I can't remember the details for KeiPi because it was probably a little more complicated than what I could understand. Probably that's why it didn't register in my mind. But I'm very sure, similarly, Kei and someone from kisumai (gathered from many many different tweets and concluding that *laughs*) were walking and Pi came walking facing them. Then Kei and Pi hugged. But the exact details, like none? After which KeiPi walked with arms around their shoulders. But not sure for how long too. *laughs*

~*~*~*~*~

Finally finished running through all my tweets. Just how many did I rt? Scary. Anyway, KeiPi is somehow a mystery now because not all wrote about them hugging. But arms around shoulders is definitely confirmed. And it was very confirmed that Tego was all smiling and seriously heading for Pi when Tsuyoshi said they are free to move about. And Tego hugged Pi by the waist. Suddenly I really have the image in my head. It was said that Pi returned the hug. I wonder how because Shige was supposed to hug them at that point of time too~ But shige. I'm so happy that even shige went to hug him!! Then Kei was walking around with kisumai 1 person first, then he walked alone and towards Pi after that, and they walked arms around shoulders, while seeing Uchi Kei high-touched with Uchi.

Finally the climax, MassuPi! *laughs* It was something about Pi going down the stage to probably those places near the fans maybe? But anyway, he was walking (with uchi), then Massu (and Nakamaru) was walking towards them too, facing. So Massu actually spread his arms, and stopped Pi in his path. Stopped as in, Pi already went ahead and they hugged. That spreading of arms was to initiate a hug and Pi was also smiling and hugged him. Then massu hugged Uchi too. After hugging Pi. So finally we had 4 hugs fully covered. Now some random points:

• NEWS dancing/shaking to Daite and especially Massu. Then Kei gestured "kuchizuke wo" to Shige during Pi's "kuchibiru ga jirettai no yo" part.
• NEWS cheering on when Pi was performing Ai Texas.
• Pi was watching from the seats and cheering and enjoying himself very much when NEWS was performing their new song. (should be WQ)
• NEWS returned to the seats after WQ, and Kei went to sit on that same bench as Pi and inside. Shige sat on the bench in front of Pi's. Tegomass stood just by the barricade with arm on the waist (Tego) and Massu folding his pants up.
• Pi talking to Kei/whispering into Kei's ears when Kei sat at the bench with him.
• Pi had chatted with Kei a little on the stage when they stood together.
• When MassuPi hugged, they sort of said something to each other. (Okaeri/Tadaima? My guess.)
• When they all returned to stage once again Pi stood beside tegomass and looked very relieved.

And suddenly I'm like, my goodness did NEWS plan this?? What is this?! Definitely NEWS and Pi had rehearsals right? Why the sudden hugging?!?!?! Were they saying "akemashite omedetou" and hug conveniently?

But rehearsals different feel, it's supposed to be a serious thing. You may joke around but hugging during rehearsals is super strange. I understand it. And probably each has different schedule so they probably didn't even meet.

Never mind about those already. Now my heart is so full of NEWSxPi love and I can sleep peacefully. There were one tweet saying that Tego was nikoniko going to Pi wanting to hug him even though they are rivals now and she thought the bonds are indeed there and exist. Around 60+ of RT excluding those which are not related to fan repo.. Seriously Japanese fans~ *laughs*

Without them I wouldn't know of the hugs and all. I really want to thank them all~

And it is super late now. I should be off for my sleep.

Happy New Year!

Random

I forgot what I had in mind already. But I know it's got to do with Pi at some point. I thought to myself that I would do some nikki trans tonight. And something else. And things that I wanna say.

Remember one:

斗真ピーのファンやピーソロのファンにとって、１０月７日は記念日だかもしれないけど、私は絶対認めない。認めたくない。ピーのソロ一周年何とか嫌だ！去年のあの日は切なすぎた。それなのに、もうすぐ一年経つ。段々そんなに切なくなくなってきた。けれど、時々悲しがり、泣いたり。

０２．１０．１２山下智久の日記

Aloha.アロハー。

The feel of Autumn getting nearer.秋が近づいてきた感じ。

Something like that.*なんとなくするね。
Did you rebutt with "It isn't aloha~."? You just had that thought, right.アロハじゃねーよ。ってツッコンだか。今ツッコンだでしょ。

Because I would have rebutted just now.だって今俺はツッコンだもんだ。
Since it is about Autumn it isn't aloha~.秋の話のくせにアロハじゃねーよ。

Somehow you will want an Aloha Shirt when you go Hawaii right?なんかハワイに行くとアロハシャツが欲しくなるね。

Ah~This topic has become not understandable.アーこの話はよくわからなくなってきた。

Today there was Oden Set being placed in the scene. Free-flow.今日現場におでんセットが置いてありました。食べ放題。

I ate too much egg. Laughたまご食いすぎた。　笑

Today too今日も
Massu is in the studio beside.隣りのスタジオにマッスがいる。

Morning, he brought over seaweed soup for me. Laugh朝、俺にワカメのスープを持ってきてくれた。　笑

It is kind of him. Laugh優し。　笑

＊～＊～＊～＊～＊～＊

Alright. A simple trans. And with lots of mistake. I just want to capture the bottom. *laughs* MassuPi!!!!

Tell me how can I not love them!!

Enough is enough, please start going out and discuss about your roles~

Imagine during interviews, Massu will say he met with some issues during the filming as it's very technical and medical. However being the eldest he didn't know who else to look for to ask for advice. And this season he happened to be in the same studio with Yamashita kun. So he thought he could ask him for advice and Yamashita kun actually helped him a lot. Sasuga Code Blue~

*laughs*

My own imagination. But so pretty and touching.

If only.

*laughs*

NEWS

Yabai, I haven't started that so called translations blog of mine. Will I have the energy to do it tonight? I should!! *laughs* Suddenly I thought, I should do it this Sunday to commemorate the day. But by that time already Kei's nikki is gone!

Even now I'm sure it's gone too~ My 800th special.

Oh dear.

Anyway chanced upon LIVEx3 DVD reviews on Amazon, and while reading I had some thoughts.

"Even though it is almost a year, the thought of D.T.F and how they had fun together still remained fresh in my mind. And just that thought is enough to drive me into tears. Yet again. This Sunday, I shall commemorate it with all my love."

And that's all.

Just want to mention how I will definitely do it with all my might on Sunday. And I didn't commemorate the 2nd Anniversary of my watching NEWS in Kyocera and Tokyo dome. Argh. Why did I forget? I shall do it next year.

Especially when this meant so much more after all these ordeals.

やっぱりみんながいるNEWSが好きだ。
やっぱり切ないんだ。
やっぱり～

Just a short one

Alright~ In order to polish up my Japanese, as well as getting myself in touch with my NEWS(pi inclusive), should I attempt to translate the diaries of NEWS?

Generally, I'll do it in a locked post, or some new platform that I can find for myself? Anyway, it is not like someone will find it and use it or what.. I don't even think it can be of use to anyone since my understanding isn't all that good. Anyway, I just saw another official translation of that particular post I've done, it was almost the same!! :)

But of course there are some lines which my phrasing is different, and one part I totally took it as a personal comment and it might have been 2-ways. I think I'm writing this in such an ambiguous way I may not be able to understand it the next time I read this post.

Alright, should I start with the current nikki entry? And then I'll end it with my opinion too? :)

And not too sure if this is of help, but maybe when I'm more confident I'll start translating for friends too?

Alright, shall start off with Pi's nikki and Kei's tonight!

yahoo~!

Pi's 23/09/12 nikki

It is raining today.

However most of the filming is indoor 
So it is not affected.

LUCKY.

Oh yes. I met Massu two days ago. As usual he was macho. 

As it has been a long time since we met my tension was high.

~*~*~*~*~*~

For some reasons, I still feel that my translations are better~ *laughs* *Proud*

I couldn't agree with the person who translated "そうそう" as "true true". What kind of broken Japanese is that? Alright, I admit that my Japanese isn't that all perfect, but I thought "true true" sounded so weird in that context, and it probably didn't even carry that meaning in the first place.

So I tried doing my translations now, here, as what I've shown above. Because I prefer my own creation than anyone else's and it's commemorable for my MassuPi isn't it? Even though I fully understand it was all a "chance upon" thing but I was glad they even had the chance to meet! Since both are busy with their schedule. But hey, they are both filming under TBS so I guess they will probably have more chances of meeting in the future? I really hope that one day they will agree to go for a meal together. I thought Shingo could go along first just to relieve the tension between MassuPi if they felt awkward? But ultimately I still prefer MassuPi to be on their own. :)

Already have the imagination going wild in my mind, due to that person (what's his name again? Kippei? That Buzzer Beat guy who acted with Pi and was not bad looking. *laughs* But I know who I'm referring to so what's the fuss?) and that MassuPi will go for a meal together. Then when they finished the meal, Pi will say alright let's go or something and when Massu asked about the bill Pi will say everything is settled. *laughs* Once a senpai, forever a senpai. And that will add on more to the respect Massu has for Pi, but not ending their friendship. Alright I just hope for the ocntinuation of MassuPi~ Messaging and all. And isn't Massu in a medical drama right now? Please ask Pi for advice!! *laughs* Pi was in code blue thrice, so I bet it must be nice! Oh dear, I'm yearning for a MassuPi medical drama~ Yabai~

*hearts* Yamapi *hearts*
大好きだぞ！

あの日のことを思い出すと、幸せになる。
ありがとう。
大切な思い出だよ。
あの日、君の手に届かれて来てくれた温かさは一生忘れられない。

NEWS 9th anniversary

I didn't say this out, but 4P on 9th anniversary makes me think of Pi's birthday. Was thinking of sending a message on 09:04:15. Maybe I should try it tomorrow in the morning. I shall.

Happy birthday NEWS! :)

That's all I can say.

And I thought, P你不能再繼續任性下去了。所以你終於讓他們自由了。就是這樣子啊！所以Ｐ是溫柔的。兩者之間，需要取捨時，他選擇獨自一人承擔所有、揹負所有，然後讓各自有新的發展空間。他心裡一定也希望，就算自己不在了，其他成員還是會繼續下去。

雖然我已經答應不再哭了，好像也已經免疫了，但在最想不到的地方還是會不自覺地流淚。有點不知道自己到底在堅持些什麼。都已經成定局了，但還是釋懷不了。