Just a short one

Alright~ In order to polish up my Japanese, as well as getting myself in touch with my NEWS(pi inclusive), should I attempt to translate the diaries of NEWS?

Generally, I'll do it in a locked post, or some new platform that I can find for myself? Anyway, it is not like someone will find it and use it or what.. I don't even think it can be of use to anyone since my understanding isn't all that good. Anyway, I just saw another official translation of that particular post I've done, it was almost the same!! :)

But of course there are some lines which my phrasing is different, and one part I totally took it as a personal comment and it might have been 2-ways. I think I'm writing this in such an ambiguous way I may not be able to understand it the next time I read this post.

Alright, should I start with the current nikki entry? And then I'll end it with my opinion too? :)

And not too sure if this is of help, but maybe when I'm more confident I'll start translating for friends too?

Alright, shall start off with Pi's nikki and Kei's tonight!

yahoo~!

Pi's 23/09/12 nikki

It is raining today.

However most of the filming is indoor 
So it is not affected.

LUCKY.

Oh yes. I met Massu two days ago. As usual he was macho. 

As it has been a long time since we met my tension was high.

~*~*~*~*~*~

For some reasons, I still feel that my translations are better~ *laughs* *Proud*

I couldn't agree with the person who translated "そうそう" as "true true". What kind of broken Japanese is that? Alright, I admit that my Japanese isn't that all perfect, but I thought "true true" sounded so weird in that context, and it probably didn't even carry that meaning in the first place.

So I tried doing my translations now, here, as what I've shown above. Because I prefer my own creation than anyone else's and it's commemorable for my MassuPi isn't it? Even though I fully understand it was all a "chance upon" thing but I was glad they even had the chance to meet! Since both are busy with their schedule. But hey, they are both filming under TBS so I guess they will probably have more chances of meeting in the future? I really hope that one day they will agree to go for a meal together. I thought Shingo could go along first just to relieve the tension between MassuPi if they felt awkward? But ultimately I still prefer MassuPi to be on their own. :)

Already have the imagination going wild in my mind, due to that person (what's his name again? Kippei? That Buzzer Beat guy who acted with Pi and was not bad looking. *laughs* But I know who I'm referring to so what's the fuss?) and that MassuPi will go for a meal together. Then when they finished the meal, Pi will say alright let's go or something and when Massu asked about the bill Pi will say everything is settled. *laughs* Once a senpai, forever a senpai. And that will add on more to the respect Massu has for Pi, but not ending their friendship. Alright I just hope for the ocntinuation of MassuPi~ Messaging and all. And isn't Massu in a medical drama right now? Please ask Pi for advice!! *laughs* Pi was in code blue thrice, so I bet it must be nice! Oh dear, I'm yearning for a MassuPi medical drama~ Yabai~

*hearts* Yamapi *hearts*
大好きだぞ！

あの日のことを思い出すと、幸せになる。
ありがとう。
大切な思い出だよ。
あの日、君の手に届かれて来てくれた温かさは一生忘れられない。

NEWS 9th anniversary

I didn't say this out, but 4P on 9th anniversary makes me think of Pi's birthday. Was thinking of sending a message on 09:04:15. Maybe I should try it tomorrow in the morning. I shall.

Happy birthday NEWS! :)

That's all I can say.

And I thought, P你不能再繼續任性下去了。所以你終於讓他們自由了。就是這樣子啊！所以Ｐ是溫柔的。兩者之間，需要取捨時，他選擇獨自一人承擔所有、揹負所有，然後讓各自有新的發展空間。他心裡一定也希望，就算自己不在了，其他成員還是會繼續下去。

雖然我已經答應不再哭了，好像也已經免疫了，但在最想不到的地方還是會不自覺地流淚。有點不知道自己到底在堅持些什麼。都已經成定局了，但還是釋懷不了。

More thoughts

Went to the toilet and then suddenly I thought how the scene of Pi and Ryo returning to NEWS on their tenth anniversary will be like. About Kei saying telling them no matter how busy they are please attend or something like that. 

But they did not mention who these ppl are. Then they said futari, then they appeared~! Then they said they will be singing this one song with them. Then intro starts, then it's "share"! Then what I hoped was that Ryo gets teary when he's singing his part? Because I know Ryo is a touchy fellow. *laughs* Then when it's shige's part (about Massu, definitely I hope he's teary too), definitely he'll be choked. And when it's Pi, he's amazingly calm.. But after Tego and his part, Pi turned over or looked up and did not sing. Then finally when everyone finished, they hugged each other. Maybe in a group of 3 or 2s, then individually hugged. Or maybe as 6 is the best. 

Then after that still there will be a short mc even though it's near the ending.

Shall cont later~ :)

The above, was what I wrote yesterday in the middle of my work. *laughs* I'm so sorry for that. And I still have something else to update regarding my happening yesterday night.

I'm so proud of myself. Saw a lyrics written as "tsunagi tomeru kotoba mo mitsukaranai" and just within seconds I thought it was loveless, and then that tune came into my head~ :)

And my stupid wishful thinking bout how pi might address the overseas fans in his concert DVD comment. And my fat hope was that he will mention countries and include Singapore. Of course he wouldn't remember that!

It is such kind of things again~ *laughs*

Anyway these are all those daydreams I have had. I wrote "Pathetic Mao crying over her imagination of NEWS reunion during 10th anniversary" on twitter. I really cried when I imagined how RP appeared on the stage and performed that song once again. It was written and performed during 2008 Diamond concert. That was when Pi started to think about his solo isn't it? Then when 2009 came the chance for him to go solo, and so on.

I can't believe I could actually reenact the whole situation even with their lines and everything. In partial Japanese. *laughs*

Soon this coming Friday is going to be their 9th Anniversary. I am planning to give myself a small makeover like thing, and watch their concert alone at home. *laughs* Happy that way. And who knows might cry over those concert scenes. And finally when reading the tweets about the concert, cry harder. 

Then thought of Pi, go find his nikki, and realise he didn't mention anything about NEWS at all. (Which I definitely hope not. Though understanding the situation now it is still not good for him to voice anything.)

Somehow I'm glad.

I kept feeling that NEWS has disregarded RP. But seems like they have not. All the mentions during the concerts. Be it from Pi to NEWS or from NEWS to Pi. I'm getting touched and crying every time they do that.

I couldn't find the source that says Shige being praised by Pi for his book release. Because during that time the news about the departure was still fresh. Does it mean that Pi actually messaged Shige despite the departure? Now that's something sweet. However that tweet mentioned Kobe, so probably it was during Kobe show that Shige mentioned this for the first time? And if that's the case, I have to start finding tweets on Kobe show. Or con report. I want to know if Shige really said that. Because that's my only way of believing in the 6P NEWS.

Actually I have always wished for such things. Now I think I can finally move on with NEWS. Like FINALLY. :)

Shall end here~ 

More thoughts

I promised myself that I will get a post done today regarding my new thoughts. I probably have these thoughts right from the start, but I only got to clear them and understand again yesterday. I wonder why...

Anyway, I kept on mentioning why I didn't blame Pi and all for leaving NEWS. And my final thought was that, he probably wanted to stay in NEWS too. I don't think it is that easy for someone to leave a place that he had stayed with for 8 years. It's just that he tried. He tried for 3 years, to balance his solo and group activities. He wants to do solo activities. But of course he had wanted to maintain his group activities as well. However, he wasn't able to do so. When he was doing his solo, he has caused his members to suffer due to the long wait. That was why he decided to go solo.

It was not that he didn't keep to his promise. It was because he had to choose between either. Knowing that he can't give up solo, he can't be selfish and keep the group waiting for him. That's why he chose solo instead. Why didn't I understand all these? Actually I did. Because if I didn't I won't be his fan till now isn't it?

Anyway, about that quarrel with him and Ryo. I bet it wasn't as fired up as what someone might have described. I think it must have been an argument or something, but definitely Pi knew that he had those plans coming, so once again he couldn't continue to drag the group on. Whatever it is, I understand that during that time, he already had the idea of going solo.

So as for NEWS, the members understand. They also understand that they can't keep on waiting for Pi. That's why they have settled for 4 and finally moved on.

I was so glad that during the concerts recently, they still bring in Pi and Ryo. I have a wish now. I really hope that for their anniversary next year, they will still invite RyoPi despite their departure. And please let them perform together. Of course even after that performance, they will still part their ways, but at least, give the fans a last 6P moment. I was imagining that Pi might even become teary.

So during the concert yesterday, Shige mentioned about Ryo treating them Gyuutan or being obsessed of Gyuutan dishes in sendai. Shige also mentioned before about Pi praising him for releasing P&G. I never knew about this comment. I didn't know. And even now, I feel like crying recalling all these. And when Tego was talking how he is Picasso, everyone started giving him nicknames resulting in pi-chan. And when pi-chan appeared, Shige just continued with comments about ryo and that gyuutan. Which really makes people feel that he was probably the one that couldn't bear with the departure the most. Ah! I have to start work yet I feel like crying again! Can I?

Ok I can't.

So now I shall end.

Hopefully tonight I can continue on another post or something~

Some topic that turned out to be different in the end

Chanced upon someone's lyrics of "share" but couldn't sing to it because it seemed strange. Suddenly I forgot that line and had no choice but to search for the official lyrics. And as I was looking at it, the emotions overcame me and I was tearing again.

Although I had many times listened to "share" calmly, right now I couldn't contain my emotions. Kei's and Ryo's sort of affected me very much now. I wonder if it's because it's the start of the lyrics as well. I recalled how they sang it during Livex3, and I couldn't help but get sad again.

If the lyrics were thoughts of each member, then does Pi's still hold?

And I went back to see the lyrics of "share", then suddenly "full swing" came into my mind and I went on to it. Basically more crying. *laughs*

I guess I'm kind of emotional weak today. Probably due to lack of sleep too?

When "share" used to be a song that I cried to as the lyrics were beautiful and that it was an effort and proof of 6P. Now I cry to it because the dream that was once around is crushed. And the more it reminded me of that when I saw that "Lyrics", "Written by" and "Sang by" are all "NEWS".

And I want to emphasize one thing. Just where did you notice that the lyrics had changed when they performed it during the concert? Because I did not notice it even when I listened to the recording. And I am really glad that they did not change any parts of the song, because it will be like erasing the past of NEWS.

And I am still feeling very hostile towards one NEWS fan on my FB. She once commented that Pi was pathetic and I think I was really hurt by that comment. So much so that when she wrote about her listening to "Endless Summer" while doing something I thought, "You listened to it? But it has that pathetic person whom you dislike or whatsoever" or something similar. I don't know why I had such ugly thoughts but I really couldn't help it. It came to my mind naturally. When she mentioned she had got a super miraculous seat for NEWS concert, I couldn't be as happy as how I will usually be for other fans. I may be envious or jealous at times, but I always feel happy for others genuinely. Just that for her in particular, I can't bring myself to be happy sincerely. I wasn't exactly jealous of her or what. But I just don't feel the thrill.

I guess all these had made me into another person. I start to judge the 4P NEWS fans and especially those who have prejudice against Pi. Yes I understand that it was him who caused all these but whatever, you only live your life once and you don't owe anyone except yourself. I'm still at the 6P NEWS and can't go over it and that's how affected I was by the whole thing. I am not alright with Pi leaving at all. If I'm a PO fan I would have welcomed this with open arms.

So even though I have accepted the fact that Pi left NEWS, ... I don't know what I want to say anymore. It's not like I have forgiven Pi, I probably did not even blame Pi at all. I am biased.

But generally, I just thought, please give him a break. If you have NEWS fans bringing uchiwa in to Pi's con asking him to not forget about NEWS, similarly there should be fans bringing uchiwa to NEWS con asking them to not forget about Pi and Ryo. I probably will do that next year. I will. Who cares if I may stir up emotions or what.

Utsu con

Listening to my recording now, of Utsu Con. :) Had some tears flowing when I listened to the previews on JEHP of NEWS Best just now. So I've decided to move on to NEWS recording first, and thus this post. Well, still it's setsunai for me. I still have not moved on. I'm very sure. I get excited for Chankapaana, and even got excited for the cm on JEHP just now. But seeing 4P NEWS is still strange for me. They have shed enough tears, I have too. I wonder how will this recording lead me on.

I didn't listen clearly when I was at the concert. Now I shall give it a thorough listening. To be frank I'm still very concerned about Pi's parts in the songs. Yes I know Ryo left too, but still.. I hate it when they wiped Pi's existence in NEWS. I'm not sure if NEWS really did it. It seems like yes they still appreciated Pi's existence before, but they don't really want to acknowledge that now. I don't know. There's this person who brought an uchiwa to Pi's con which wrote "Please do not forget about NEWS" which Pi nodded very hard to. I thought it should be another way around. They should ask NEWS to not forget about Pi's existence. The fact that Pi is probably the one in most fault, that he was probably the one abandoning the group, but no. I don't like it when Pi has to bear everything when he had a hard time too.

So it started with Chankapaana, NEWS Nippon while they flew on the strings.

So Massu and Kei sang Pi's first verse in weeeek, followed by Tego singing Ryo's. Tego sang Ryo's second verse in weeeek too. And I hate it when they omitted Pi's "ikimasu yeah". Tego, Massu, Shige in that RyoPi bridge of weeeek.

Shige's singing Ryo's opening of Happy Birthday. Kei's singing Pi's verse. Tego sang the bridge on his own. However when "rai nen mo" came, he did not sing. It is either he wanted to continue his (shige just sang ryo's kimi no happy birthday, .." dragging of voice in his previous part, or he just forgot. Or he thought Pi was there.

Massu with Ryo's part in fighting man. Tego's Pi. Kei sounded lipsync seriously. Massu with Tego. But I prefer Ryo!!!! Tego's Pi again in bridge of Fighting man. They left out Pi's "mou saishokyuu no fighting man".

You tachi, omatase~

Tego's ryo in koi no abo. Shige's Pi... Massu's "subete wo sarake dashite" of Pi.. I don't know how this post is going to turn out to be. But I don't really care now. *laughs*

Funky time!!! But I love Pi's part here... And I love this dance so much in LIVE3. Tego.. He practically finished that whole long verse. I don't know if it has got to do with the sound system, but they all sounded very weak. Like not as loud as 6P...

Koi gokoro~ Beach Angel! Mizu!!!! *laughs* kei said "minna nurechau~!" *laughs* Strange, I thought I did mention they didn't perform a certain song, and I thought it was Beach Angel?? Dear. STM. Anyway I remembered Koi Yake very much. Oh~ Eh?

Summer Time... Shige's Ryo.. Kei's Pi. Yabai. I took it in so naturally that I almost didn't notice that was Pi's part. Partially I thought it was because Kei was as heta as Pi. *laughs* So I didn't notice the difference. Tego's Pi.. Massu's Ryo..

Then the video came... *laughs* All the Prince Koyama, Prince Masuda, Prince Kato and Prince Tegoshi. Curry rice. *laughs* Tonari de iru... Akai hana~ Let's go to the planets~ *laughs*

Alright, the cute aeroplanes appeared. I forgot what happened, but Kei said "abunai yo".. I think they were turning and almost hit one another.. Kare rice!! Shige's ryo? Right? kei's pi..

Tonari ni iru dake de, I think they focused on the wrong person. Shld be Massu but they showed Shige. *laughs* Massu's singing Pi's climax..

Akai hana, massu slipped. Tego sang Pi's opening. Kei highly lipsynced. Tego's pi again~ Minna together for Pi's bridge.. Tego singing Ryo's..

Hoshi wo mezashite.. Kei chan.. Singing Pi's part.. There wasn't "yukou" for Pi.. Dreams.. Shige's singing ryo~ Right? Tego's pi~ Then a marching band was performing on the main stage. Getting ready for Kibou Yell. Tego, massu, tegomass for Pi's opening. Tego singing Pi's verse. Koyashige for Ryo. (By the way, I was so happy Pi chose to sing Kibou Yell in his con.) And it changed to Kirameki no Kanata he. Sayaendou~! Back to Kibou Yell~

Hadashi no cinderella boy~ Teppen! Kei's here! Following his dance steps! Kei's Pi.. Massu sang ryo's too. Alright.. MC~ Actually I planned to listen to the touching part. But I'm feeling a little tired liao. Plus my ears are painful too.

Finished MC.. And I totally forgot to continue this. Now is Endless Summer, after Addict and vampire. Tego singing Ryo's part.. Everyone singing Pi's chorus. Massu Kei? Tego Kei? Tego kei.. Massu Shige? Massu shige. But it was so saddening. Once it was 6 members. And I remembered (Tego's singing now. He sang Pi's part.) that dance right after it, with 6P, with their lights shining over them onto the balloons.

"Share". Really. It stirs up emotions doesn't it? Shige's singing Ryo's then Tego's doing the last 2 lines. Massu... Kei's singing Pi's.. Shige too.. *cries* Crying hard..

Izanaizuki. Massu's doing the opening. Massu's singing Pi's verse. I suddenly felt like crying because I could remember the scenes in N.E.W.S. But Shige's "kuchizuke wo" is really something big. *laughs* I really miss the 6P NEWS...

Cherish. Kei and massu? Shige tego.. 4P singing 1 verse of Pi.. Ok.. Slowly I feel that they are respecting Pi.. *laughs* And Massu went for his solo preparation. After peek-a-boo it was starry. Lip sync as usual. But it was a ballad!! If only it wasn't lip sync.

Shige singing Pi's part in Bambina. Somehow Massu's mic wasn't working or what. Shige again singing Ryo's? No it was Massu. Yup.. Anyway what tego wore was said to be hard gay by me. *laughs* But they were hot. Really. Some of the times, I really thought, if Pi was still in NEWS, I could see these performances of him too, and not watch from previous cons. Bambina was from Diamond con. But on the other hand, if Pi was really still in NEWS, will there even be this concert? Or will these songs still get included? Will it be another new album instead of a best album? Chankapaana will never be available.

Dancin' in the secret. But I didn't really get high by the head part. Yappari Pi jya nakya ikenai. Massu sang Pi's verse. Shige's Ryo second verse. And during the con, I can't help comparing with Pi's con. The solo songs are so Pi rashii. And the lightings. When the laser show came with Addict or Peek-a-boo I really thought so. Probably I wasn't at the arena, I couldn't see the laser clearly.

Akaku moyuru taiyou now. I don't understand what were all the screaming during Smile Maker. I think shige and kei came our side or something. I just listened because it's really nice. I know someone sang Pi's part, but it was ok. Shige if I wasn't wrong. Now.. 2/1300000000 no kiseki. I anyhow put the "0"s.. Hahah.. Hopefully it's correct. Shige sang Ryo's and messed up the lyrics. Tego sang Pi's in a really cute way~

Tego's talking. Want to listen to the part where he spoke of Pi again... Now's shige's part. Shige~!! "nakanaide" Massu..Massu's crying.. Kei chan~ I remember he said "yamashita" then changed to "yamapi". Just want to confirm that again. And hopefully I heard wrongly. Hearing their speeches. You really get to understand just how much they have to go through. And yes I understand who made they go through all these. Which is why when I look at NEWS, I felt the guilt. But even so, I still think I can't get used to them, yet. Something is missing. But I understand, they are also trying their best to protect what is left of NEWS. Why didn't I understand this before? No, I understood that all along. Which is why I'm still supporting them, because I also want to support what's remaining of NEWS. By the way, kei chan choked a little during Full Swing, and you can hear clearly when Tego sobbed. When I heard the part when kei chan asked us to shout their name, I cried. I can't believe how important "NEWS" has become of my life.

Encore, Sakura Girl. Massu followed by Shige.

What's wrong with loving the NEWS that has Pi? What's wrong with wanting Pi to be back to NEWS? Even now I'm thinking of 6P NEWS. I want to watch the 6P NEWS again.

NEWS Nippon. Tego... Shige, Kei..

NEWS has to move on without Pi and Ryo. By the way saw the latest video of K8 on Jnet, and Ryo looked so qiao cui. I don't know if he was overworked or what. But he really looked tired and all. I miss the Ryo in NEWS. I don't know if he really could relax with NEWS, but I thought he did look happy when he was in NEWS.

Chakapaana~ (and I guessed it right just before they performed) And during ad lib they did what they said in MC, furyo and all..

Anyway not going to think so much now. I'm tired from all the things. I will just support them whichever ways I can. But I can't deny the fact that I wasn't as high as when Pi was around. And during Pi con, after 3 shows, I got calmer. *laughs* But for NEWS, I remember I was high for all shows (except for the last as I was really tired) during LIVEx3. I went for 5 shows of NEWS. For Pi, it is always 4 huh? Like I can't exceed 4 shows. I could have gone for 6 shows for SBS!! But I didn't. But I was glad that I went for that 3rd show. :) Then for SGSB, I could only manage for 2 shows. But I got myself screened into the DVD.

Second encore, cute shige was amatteru~! "daite ii?" So cute! First he hugged Kei real tightly. Then he jumped a little on Tego. Then finally he took a small run before he jumped and hugged Massu real tightly.

weeeek!! (I remembered they sang Chankapaana 3 times, so I thought the second encore was also Chankapaana. I totally forgot about weeeek) And I thought they said Ikimasu~! Yes they did. I forgot who said it.

And back to my previous topic, EroP, I went for all 3 shows in Yokohama and fukuoka. Thank goodness for my last minute I was glad I went for Fukuoka. It was really a very corner seat, but I was very sure Pi saw my uchiwa. Although I still don't understand why he gave a sorry kind of look. Actually at first he wasn't looking at my side. But then suddenly he looked at my uchiwa, so I knew it was that moment. Then he had that sorry look, and he turned.

Shige and his "mou ikkai". *laughs* Chankapaana again~ By the way, there was one song, a camera man came to my side and started shooting my way. Did he take me down as well? I hope he did. And I hope I'll debut on NEWS dvd too. I had my debut in SGSB though. But it was all by chance. I wasn't even supposed to be there. I just happened to be caught. If only I got shot into Pi's EroP. But it was Yoyogi right? But it's alright. I got that moment of my life. Like a dream.

Alright, finally the concert is ending. I shall end too~ tsukareta~ *laughs* What's with this? I am not even attending the concert~ Just listening to it. *laughs*

Dilemma

Nothing beats reminiscing concerts while listening to recordings. :) Yokohama Day 1. :) Though I have already written on Twitter, I want to repeat this again. "It is a bliss to be still able to listen to Pi singing Kibou Yell."

Anyway regarding the title, I have some thoughts again. As usual. *laughs* Kibou yell. What a long history behind this song, I think. 

I got to like NEWS because of this song. I didn't like Cherish then. Not other songs. But when I heard Kibou Yell, I immediately like it and especially after I saw the PV. I don't know if it was because of Pi in that PV or what, but that was when I started to like NEWS. Then I got to saw other performances, with the MSta medley of Sayaendou and Hoshi wo Mezashite most imprinted in my mind. Then I knew they released Hoshi wo mezashite. Then I took notice of them. Then I finally started following them and everything like weeeek and Pacific came after that.

Not until Sakura Girl was released, Kibou Yell stayed as my top favourite all the way. Because Sakura Girl was really a special song that has the "setsunai" feeling that I really love. No any other songs can be compared to Kibou Yell if you're speaking of genki and all.

Anyway, probably I should do another post. Because I do want to update on NEWS concert too. 

Back to topic. I feel that my love for Pi is growing everyday. More and more. Unstoppable. Does it mean some parts of me actually preferred the solo Pi? 

Anyway, I took quite a long while to complete this post. I have decided to leave it here, half-done. *laughs* And I'm going to move on to another post, on NEWS concert first~