Some topic that turned out to be different in the end

Chanced upon someone's lyrics of "share" but couldn't sing to it because it seemed strange. Suddenly I forgot that line and had no choice but to search for the official lyrics. And as I was looking at it, the emotions overcame me and I was tearing again.

Although I had many times listened to "share" calmly, right now I couldn't contain my emotions. Kei's and Ryo's sort of affected me very much now. I wonder if it's because it's the start of the lyrics as well. I recalled how they sang it during Livex3, and I couldn't help but get sad again.

If the lyrics were thoughts of each member, then does Pi's still hold?

And I went back to see the lyrics of "share", then suddenly "full swing" came into my mind and I went on to it. Basically more crying. *laughs*

I guess I'm kind of emotional weak today. Probably due to lack of sleep too?

When "share" used to be a song that I cried to as the lyrics were beautiful and that it was an effort and proof of 6P. Now I cry to it because the dream that was once around is crushed. And the more it reminded me of that when I saw that "Lyrics", "Written by" and "Sang by" are all "NEWS".

And I want to emphasize one thing. Just where did you notice that the lyrics had changed when they performed it during the concert? Because I did not notice it even when I listened to the recording. And I am really glad that they did not change any parts of the song, because it will be like erasing the past of NEWS.

And I am still feeling very hostile towards one NEWS fan on my FB. She once commented that Pi was pathetic and I think I was really hurt by that comment. So much so that when she wrote about her listening to "Endless Summer" while doing something I thought, "You listened to it? But it has that pathetic person whom you dislike or whatsoever" or something similar. I don't know why I had such ugly thoughts but I really couldn't help it. It came to my mind naturally. When she mentioned she had got a super miraculous seat for NEWS concert, I couldn't be as happy as how I will usually be for other fans. I may be envious or jealous at times, but I always feel happy for others genuinely. Just that for her in particular, I can't bring myself to be happy sincerely. I wasn't exactly jealous of her or what. But I just don't feel the thrill.

I guess all these had made me into another person. I start to judge the 4P NEWS fans and especially those who have prejudice against Pi. Yes I understand that it was him who caused all these but whatever, you only live your life once and you don't owe anyone except yourself. I'm still at the 6P NEWS and can't go over it and that's how affected I was by the whole thing. I am not alright with Pi leaving at all. If I'm a PO fan I would have welcomed this with open arms.

So even though I have accepted the fact that Pi left NEWS, ... I don't know what I want to say anymore. It's not like I have forgiven Pi, I probably did not even blame Pi at all. I am biased.

But generally, I just thought, please give him a break. If you have NEWS fans bringing uchiwa in to Pi's con asking him to not forget about NEWS, similarly there should be fans bringing uchiwa to NEWS con asking them to not forget about Pi and Ryo. I probably will do that next year. I will. Who cares if I may stir up emotions or what.