Random

I forgot what I had in mind already. But I know it's got to do with Pi at some point. I thought to myself that I would do some nikki trans tonight. And something else. And things that I wanna say.

Remember one:

斗真ピーのファンやピーソロのファンにとって、１０月７日は記念日だかもしれないけど、私は絶対認めない。認めたくない。ピーのソロ一周年何とか嫌だ！去年のあの日は切なすぎた。それなのに、もうすぐ一年経つ。段々そんなに切なくなくなってきた。けれど、時々悲しがり、泣いたり。

０２．１０．１２山下智久の日記

Aloha.アロハー。

The feel of Autumn getting nearer.秋が近づいてきた感じ。

Something like that.*なんとなくするね。
Did you rebutt with "It isn't aloha~."? You just had that thought, right.アロハじゃねーよ。ってツッコンだか。今ツッコンだでしょ。

Because I would have rebutted just now.だって今俺はツッコンだもんだ。
Since it is about Autumn it isn't aloha~.秋の話のくせにアロハじゃねーよ。

Somehow you will want an Aloha Shirt when you go Hawaii right?なんかハワイに行くとアロハシャツが欲しくなるね。

Ah~This topic has become not understandable.アーこの話はよくわからなくなってきた。

Today there was Oden Set being placed in the scene. Free-flow.今日現場におでんセットが置いてありました。食べ放題。

I ate too much egg. Laughたまご食いすぎた。　笑

Today too今日も
Massu is in the studio beside.隣りのスタジオにマッスがいる。

Morning, he brought over seaweed soup for me. Laugh朝、俺にワカメのスープを持ってきてくれた。　笑

It is kind of him. Laugh優し。　笑

＊～＊～＊～＊～＊～＊

Alright. A simple trans. And with lots of mistake. I just want to capture the bottom. *laughs* MassuPi!!!!

Tell me how can I not love them!!

Enough is enough, please start going out and discuss about your roles~

Imagine during interviews, Massu will say he met with some issues during the filming as it's very technical and medical. However being the eldest he didn't know who else to look for to ask for advice. And this season he happened to be in the same studio with Yamashita kun. So he thought he could ask him for advice and Yamashita kun actually helped him a lot. Sasuga Code Blue~

*laughs*

My own imagination. But so pretty and touching.

If only.

*laughs*

NEWS

Yabai, I haven't started that so called translations blog of mine. Will I have the energy to do it tonight? I should!! *laughs* Suddenly I thought, I should do it this Sunday to commemorate the day. But by that time already Kei's nikki is gone!

Even now I'm sure it's gone too~ My 800th special.

Oh dear.

Anyway chanced upon LIVEx3 DVD reviews on Amazon, and while reading I had some thoughts.

"Even though it is almost a year, the thought of D.T.F and how they had fun together still remained fresh in my mind. And just that thought is enough to drive me into tears. Yet again. This Sunday, I shall commemorate it with all my love."

And that's all.

Just want to mention how I will definitely do it with all my might on Sunday. And I didn't commemorate the 2nd Anniversary of my watching NEWS in Kyocera and Tokyo dome. Argh. Why did I forget? I shall do it next year.

Especially when this meant so much more after all these ordeals.

やっぱりみんながいるNEWSが好きだ。
やっぱり切ないんだ。
やっぱり～

Just a short one

Alright~ In order to polish up my Japanese, as well as getting myself in touch with my NEWS(pi inclusive), should I attempt to translate the diaries of NEWS?

Generally, I'll do it in a locked post, or some new platform that I can find for myself? Anyway, it is not like someone will find it and use it or what.. I don't even think it can be of use to anyone since my understanding isn't all that good. Anyway, I just saw another official translation of that particular post I've done, it was almost the same!! :)

But of course there are some lines which my phrasing is different, and one part I totally took it as a personal comment and it might have been 2-ways. I think I'm writing this in such an ambiguous way I may not be able to understand it the next time I read this post.

Alright, should I start with the current nikki entry? And then I'll end it with my opinion too? :)

And not too sure if this is of help, but maybe when I'm more confident I'll start translating for friends too?

Alright, shall start off with Pi's nikki and Kei's tonight!

yahoo~!

Pi's 23/09/12 nikki

It is raining today.

However most of the filming is indoor 
So it is not affected.

LUCKY.

Oh yes. I met Massu two days ago. As usual he was macho. 

As it has been a long time since we met my tension was high.

~*~*~*~*~*~

For some reasons, I still feel that my translations are better~ *laughs* *Proud*

I couldn't agree with the person who translated "そうそう" as "true true". What kind of broken Japanese is that? Alright, I admit that my Japanese isn't that all perfect, but I thought "true true" sounded so weird in that context, and it probably didn't even carry that meaning in the first place.

So I tried doing my translations now, here, as what I've shown above. Because I prefer my own creation than anyone else's and it's commemorable for my MassuPi isn't it? Even though I fully understand it was all a "chance upon" thing but I was glad they even had the chance to meet! Since both are busy with their schedule. But hey, they are both filming under TBS so I guess they will probably have more chances of meeting in the future? I really hope that one day they will agree to go for a meal together. I thought Shingo could go along first just to relieve the tension between MassuPi if they felt awkward? But ultimately I still prefer MassuPi to be on their own. :)

Already have the imagination going wild in my mind, due to that person (what's his name again? Kippei? That Buzzer Beat guy who acted with Pi and was not bad looking. *laughs* But I know who I'm referring to so what's the fuss?) and that MassuPi will go for a meal together. Then when they finished the meal, Pi will say alright let's go or something and when Massu asked about the bill Pi will say everything is settled. *laughs* Once a senpai, forever a senpai. And that will add on more to the respect Massu has for Pi, but not ending their friendship. Alright I just hope for the ocntinuation of MassuPi~ Messaging and all. And isn't Massu in a medical drama right now? Please ask Pi for advice!! *laughs* Pi was in code blue thrice, so I bet it must be nice! Oh dear, I'm yearning for a MassuPi medical drama~ Yabai~

*hearts* Yamapi *hearts*
大好きだぞ！

あの日のことを思い出すと、幸せになる。
ありがとう。
大切な思い出だよ。
あの日、君の手に届かれて来てくれた温かさは一生忘れられない。

NEWS 9th anniversary

I didn't say this out, but 4P on 9th anniversary makes me think of Pi's birthday. Was thinking of sending a message on 09:04:15. Maybe I should try it tomorrow in the morning. I shall.

Happy birthday NEWS! :)

That's all I can say.

And I thought, P你不能再繼續任性下去了。所以你終於讓他們自由了。就是這樣子啊！所以Ｐ是溫柔的。兩者之間，需要取捨時，他選擇獨自一人承擔所有、揹負所有，然後讓各自有新的發展空間。他心裡一定也希望，就算自己不在了，其他成員還是會繼續下去。

雖然我已經答應不再哭了，好像也已經免疫了，但在最想不到的地方還是會不自覺地流淚。有點不知道自己到底在堅持些什麼。都已經成定局了，但還是釋懷不了。

More thoughts

Went to the toilet and then suddenly I thought how the scene of Pi and Ryo returning to NEWS on their tenth anniversary will be like. About Kei saying telling them no matter how busy they are please attend or something like that. 

But they did not mention who these ppl are. Then they said futari, then they appeared~! Then they said they will be singing this one song with them. Then intro starts, then it's "share"! Then what I hoped was that Ryo gets teary when he's singing his part? Because I know Ryo is a touchy fellow. *laughs* Then when it's shige's part (about Massu, definitely I hope he's teary too), definitely he'll be choked. And when it's Pi, he's amazingly calm.. But after Tego and his part, Pi turned over or looked up and did not sing. Then finally when everyone finished, they hugged each other. Maybe in a group of 3 or 2s, then individually hugged. Or maybe as 6 is the best. 

Then after that still there will be a short mc even though it's near the ending.

Shall cont later~ :)

The above, was what I wrote yesterday in the middle of my work. *laughs* I'm so sorry for that. And I still have something else to update regarding my happening yesterday night.

I'm so proud of myself. Saw a lyrics written as "tsunagi tomeru kotoba mo mitsukaranai" and just within seconds I thought it was loveless, and then that tune came into my head~ :)

And my stupid wishful thinking bout how pi might address the overseas fans in his concert DVD comment. And my fat hope was that he will mention countries and include Singapore. Of course he wouldn't remember that!

It is such kind of things again~ *laughs*

Anyway these are all those daydreams I have had. I wrote "Pathetic Mao crying over her imagination of NEWS reunion during 10th anniversary" on twitter. I really cried when I imagined how RP appeared on the stage and performed that song once again. It was written and performed during 2008 Diamond concert. That was when Pi started to think about his solo isn't it? Then when 2009 came the chance for him to go solo, and so on.

I can't believe I could actually reenact the whole situation even with their lines and everything. In partial Japanese. *laughs*

Soon this coming Friday is going to be their 9th Anniversary. I am planning to give myself a small makeover like thing, and watch their concert alone at home. *laughs* Happy that way. And who knows might cry over those concert scenes. And finally when reading the tweets about the concert, cry harder. 

Then thought of Pi, go find his nikki, and realise he didn't mention anything about NEWS at all. (Which I definitely hope not. Though understanding the situation now it is still not good for him to voice anything.)

Somehow I'm glad.

I kept feeling that NEWS has disregarded RP. But seems like they have not. All the mentions during the concerts. Be it from Pi to NEWS or from NEWS to Pi. I'm getting touched and crying every time they do that.

I couldn't find the source that says Shige being praised by Pi for his book release. Because during that time the news about the departure was still fresh. Does it mean that Pi actually messaged Shige despite the departure? Now that's something sweet. However that tweet mentioned Kobe, so probably it was during Kobe show that Shige mentioned this for the first time? And if that's the case, I have to start finding tweets on Kobe show. Or con report. I want to know if Shige really said that. Because that's my only way of believing in the 6P NEWS.

Actually I have always wished for such things. Now I think I can finally move on with NEWS. Like FINALLY. :)

Shall end here~ 

More thoughts

I promised myself that I will get a post done today regarding my new thoughts. I probably have these thoughts right from the start, but I only got to clear them and understand again yesterday. I wonder why...

Anyway, I kept on mentioning why I didn't blame Pi and all for leaving NEWS. And my final thought was that, he probably wanted to stay in NEWS too. I don't think it is that easy for someone to leave a place that he had stayed with for 8 years. It's just that he tried. He tried for 3 years, to balance his solo and group activities. He wants to do solo activities. But of course he had wanted to maintain his group activities as well. However, he wasn't able to do so. When he was doing his solo, he has caused his members to suffer due to the long wait. That was why he decided to go solo.

It was not that he didn't keep to his promise. It was because he had to choose between either. Knowing that he can't give up solo, he can't be selfish and keep the group waiting for him. That's why he chose solo instead. Why didn't I understand all these? Actually I did. Because if I didn't I won't be his fan till now isn't it?

Anyway, about that quarrel with him and Ryo. I bet it wasn't as fired up as what someone might have described. I think it must have been an argument or something, but definitely Pi knew that he had those plans coming, so once again he couldn't continue to drag the group on. Whatever it is, I understand that during that time, he already had the idea of going solo.

So as for NEWS, the members understand. They also understand that they can't keep on waiting for Pi. That's why they have settled for 4 and finally moved on.

I was so glad that during the concerts recently, they still bring in Pi and Ryo. I have a wish now. I really hope that for their anniversary next year, they will still invite RyoPi despite their departure. And please let them perform together. Of course even after that performance, they will still part their ways, but at least, give the fans a last 6P moment. I was imagining that Pi might even become teary.

So during the concert yesterday, Shige mentioned about Ryo treating them Gyuutan or being obsessed of Gyuutan dishes in sendai. Shige also mentioned before about Pi praising him for releasing P&G. I never knew about this comment. I didn't know. And even now, I feel like crying recalling all these. And when Tego was talking how he is Picasso, everyone started giving him nicknames resulting in pi-chan. And when pi-chan appeared, Shige just continued with comments about ryo and that gyuutan. Which really makes people feel that he was probably the one that couldn't bear with the departure the most. Ah! I have to start work yet I feel like crying again! Can I?

Ok I can't.

So now I shall end.

Hopefully tonight I can continue on another post or something~

Some topic that turned out to be different in the end

Chanced upon someone's lyrics of "share" but couldn't sing to it because it seemed strange. Suddenly I forgot that line and had no choice but to search for the official lyrics. And as I was looking at it, the emotions overcame me and I was tearing again.

Although I had many times listened to "share" calmly, right now I couldn't contain my emotions. Kei's and Ryo's sort of affected me very much now. I wonder if it's because it's the start of the lyrics as well. I recalled how they sang it during Livex3, and I couldn't help but get sad again.

If the lyrics were thoughts of each member, then does Pi's still hold?

And I went back to see the lyrics of "share", then suddenly "full swing" came into my mind and I went on to it. Basically more crying. *laughs*

I guess I'm kind of emotional weak today. Probably due to lack of sleep too?

When "share" used to be a song that I cried to as the lyrics were beautiful and that it was an effort and proof of 6P. Now I cry to it because the dream that was once around is crushed. And the more it reminded me of that when I saw that "Lyrics", "Written by" and "Sang by" are all "NEWS".

And I want to emphasize one thing. Just where did you notice that the lyrics had changed when they performed it during the concert? Because I did not notice it even when I listened to the recording. And I am really glad that they did not change any parts of the song, because it will be like erasing the past of NEWS.

And I am still feeling very hostile towards one NEWS fan on my FB. She once commented that Pi was pathetic and I think I was really hurt by that comment. So much so that when she wrote about her listening to "Endless Summer" while doing something I thought, "You listened to it? But it has that pathetic person whom you dislike or whatsoever" or something similar. I don't know why I had such ugly thoughts but I really couldn't help it. It came to my mind naturally. When she mentioned she had got a super miraculous seat for NEWS concert, I couldn't be as happy as how I will usually be for other fans. I may be envious or jealous at times, but I always feel happy for others genuinely. Just that for her in particular, I can't bring myself to be happy sincerely. I wasn't exactly jealous of her or what. But I just don't feel the thrill.

I guess all these had made me into another person. I start to judge the 4P NEWS fans and especially those who have prejudice against Pi. Yes I understand that it was him who caused all these but whatever, you only live your life once and you don't owe anyone except yourself. I'm still at the 6P NEWS and can't go over it and that's how affected I was by the whole thing. I am not alright with Pi leaving at all. If I'm a PO fan I would have welcomed this with open arms.

So even though I have accepted the fact that Pi left NEWS, ... I don't know what I want to say anymore. It's not like I have forgiven Pi, I probably did not even blame Pi at all. I am biased.

But generally, I just thought, please give him a break. If you have NEWS fans bringing uchiwa in to Pi's con asking him to not forget about NEWS, similarly there should be fans bringing uchiwa to NEWS con asking them to not forget about Pi and Ryo. I probably will do that next year. I will. Who cares if I may stir up emotions or what.

Utsu con

Listening to my recording now, of Utsu Con. :) Had some tears flowing when I listened to the previews on JEHP of NEWS Best just now. So I've decided to move on to NEWS recording first, and thus this post. Well, still it's setsunai for me. I still have not moved on. I'm very sure. I get excited for Chankapaana, and even got excited for the cm on JEHP just now. But seeing 4P NEWS is still strange for me. They have shed enough tears, I have too. I wonder how will this recording lead me on.

I didn't listen clearly when I was at the concert. Now I shall give it a thorough listening. To be frank I'm still very concerned about Pi's parts in the songs. Yes I know Ryo left too, but still.. I hate it when they wiped Pi's existence in NEWS. I'm not sure if NEWS really did it. It seems like yes they still appreciated Pi's existence before, but they don't really want to acknowledge that now. I don't know. There's this person who brought an uchiwa to Pi's con which wrote "Please do not forget about NEWS" which Pi nodded very hard to. I thought it should be another way around. They should ask NEWS to not forget about Pi's existence. The fact that Pi is probably the one in most fault, that he was probably the one abandoning the group, but no. I don't like it when Pi has to bear everything when he had a hard time too.

So it started with Chankapaana, NEWS Nippon while they flew on the strings.

So Massu and Kei sang Pi's first verse in weeeek, followed by Tego singing Ryo's. Tego sang Ryo's second verse in weeeek too. And I hate it when they omitted Pi's "ikimasu yeah". Tego, Massu, Shige in that RyoPi bridge of weeeek.

Shige's singing Ryo's opening of Happy Birthday. Kei's singing Pi's verse. Tego sang the bridge on his own. However when "rai nen mo" came, he did not sing. It is either he wanted to continue his (shige just sang ryo's kimi no happy birthday, .." dragging of voice in his previous part, or he just forgot. Or he thought Pi was there.

Massu with Ryo's part in fighting man. Tego's Pi. Kei sounded lipsync seriously. Massu with Tego. But I prefer Ryo!!!! Tego's Pi again in bridge of Fighting man. They left out Pi's "mou saishokyuu no fighting man".

You tachi, omatase~

Tego's ryo in koi no abo. Shige's Pi... Massu's "subete wo sarake dashite" of Pi.. I don't know how this post is going to turn out to be. But I don't really care now. *laughs*

Funky time!!! But I love Pi's part here... And I love this dance so much in LIVE3. Tego.. He practically finished that whole long verse. I don't know if it has got to do with the sound system, but they all sounded very weak. Like not as loud as 6P...

Koi gokoro~ Beach Angel! Mizu!!!! *laughs* kei said "minna nurechau~!" *laughs* Strange, I thought I did mention they didn't perform a certain song, and I thought it was Beach Angel?? Dear. STM. Anyway I remembered Koi Yake very much. Oh~ Eh?

Summer Time... Shige's Ryo.. Kei's Pi. Yabai. I took it in so naturally that I almost didn't notice that was Pi's part. Partially I thought it was because Kei was as heta as Pi. *laughs* So I didn't notice the difference. Tego's Pi.. Massu's Ryo..

Then the video came... *laughs* All the Prince Koyama, Prince Masuda, Prince Kato and Prince Tegoshi. Curry rice. *laughs* Tonari de iru... Akai hana~ Let's go to the planets~ *laughs*

Alright, the cute aeroplanes appeared. I forgot what happened, but Kei said "abunai yo".. I think they were turning and almost hit one another.. Kare rice!! Shige's ryo? Right? kei's pi..

Tonari ni iru dake de, I think they focused on the wrong person. Shld be Massu but they showed Shige. *laughs* Massu's singing Pi's climax..

Akai hana, massu slipped. Tego sang Pi's opening. Kei highly lipsynced. Tego's pi again~ Minna together for Pi's bridge.. Tego singing Ryo's..

Hoshi wo mezashite.. Kei chan.. Singing Pi's part.. There wasn't "yukou" for Pi.. Dreams.. Shige's singing ryo~ Right? Tego's pi~ Then a marching band was performing on the main stage. Getting ready for Kibou Yell. Tego, massu, tegomass for Pi's opening. Tego singing Pi's verse. Koyashige for Ryo. (By the way, I was so happy Pi chose to sing Kibou Yell in his con.) And it changed to Kirameki no Kanata he. Sayaendou~! Back to Kibou Yell~

Hadashi no cinderella boy~ Teppen! Kei's here! Following his dance steps! Kei's Pi.. Massu sang ryo's too. Alright.. MC~ Actually I planned to listen to the touching part. But I'm feeling a little tired liao. Plus my ears are painful too.

Finished MC.. And I totally forgot to continue this. Now is Endless Summer, after Addict and vampire. Tego singing Ryo's part.. Everyone singing Pi's chorus. Massu Kei? Tego Kei? Tego kei.. Massu Shige? Massu shige. But it was so saddening. Once it was 6 members. And I remembered (Tego's singing now. He sang Pi's part.) that dance right after it, with 6P, with their lights shining over them onto the balloons.

"Share". Really. It stirs up emotions doesn't it? Shige's singing Ryo's then Tego's doing the last 2 lines. Massu... Kei's singing Pi's.. Shige too.. *cries* Crying hard..

Izanaizuki. Massu's doing the opening. Massu's singing Pi's verse. I suddenly felt like crying because I could remember the scenes in N.E.W.S. But Shige's "kuchizuke wo" is really something big. *laughs* I really miss the 6P NEWS...

Cherish. Kei and massu? Shige tego.. 4P singing 1 verse of Pi.. Ok.. Slowly I feel that they are respecting Pi.. *laughs* And Massu went for his solo preparation. After peek-a-boo it was starry. Lip sync as usual. But it was a ballad!! If only it wasn't lip sync.

Shige singing Pi's part in Bambina. Somehow Massu's mic wasn't working or what. Shige again singing Ryo's? No it was Massu. Yup.. Anyway what tego wore was said to be hard gay by me. *laughs* But they were hot. Really. Some of the times, I really thought, if Pi was still in NEWS, I could see these performances of him too, and not watch from previous cons. Bambina was from Diamond con. But on the other hand, if Pi was really still in NEWS, will there even be this concert? Or will these songs still get included? Will it be another new album instead of a best album? Chankapaana will never be available.

Dancin' in the secret. But I didn't really get high by the head part. Yappari Pi jya nakya ikenai. Massu sang Pi's verse. Shige's Ryo second verse. And during the con, I can't help comparing with Pi's con. The solo songs are so Pi rashii. And the lightings. When the laser show came with Addict or Peek-a-boo I really thought so. Probably I wasn't at the arena, I couldn't see the laser clearly.

Akaku moyuru taiyou now. I don't understand what were all the screaming during Smile Maker. I think shige and kei came our side or something. I just listened because it's really nice. I know someone sang Pi's part, but it was ok. Shige if I wasn't wrong. Now.. 2/1300000000 no kiseki. I anyhow put the "0"s.. Hahah.. Hopefully it's correct. Shige sang Ryo's and messed up the lyrics. Tego sang Pi's in a really cute way~

Tego's talking. Want to listen to the part where he spoke of Pi again... Now's shige's part. Shige~!! "nakanaide" Massu..Massu's crying.. Kei chan~ I remember he said "yamashita" then changed to "yamapi". Just want to confirm that again. And hopefully I heard wrongly. Hearing their speeches. You really get to understand just how much they have to go through. And yes I understand who made they go through all these. Which is why when I look at NEWS, I felt the guilt. But even so, I still think I can't get used to them, yet. Something is missing. But I understand, they are also trying their best to protect what is left of NEWS. Why didn't I understand this before? No, I understood that all along. Which is why I'm still supporting them, because I also want to support what's remaining of NEWS. By the way, kei chan choked a little during Full Swing, and you can hear clearly when Tego sobbed. When I heard the part when kei chan asked us to shout their name, I cried. I can't believe how important "NEWS" has become of my life.

Encore, Sakura Girl. Massu followed by Shige.

What's wrong with loving the NEWS that has Pi? What's wrong with wanting Pi to be back to NEWS? Even now I'm thinking of 6P NEWS. I want to watch the 6P NEWS again.

NEWS Nippon. Tego... Shige, Kei..

NEWS has to move on without Pi and Ryo. By the way saw the latest video of K8 on Jnet, and Ryo looked so qiao cui. I don't know if he was overworked or what. But he really looked tired and all. I miss the Ryo in NEWS. I don't know if he really could relax with NEWS, but I thought he did look happy when he was in NEWS.

Chakapaana~ (and I guessed it right just before they performed) And during ad lib they did what they said in MC, furyo and all..

Anyway not going to think so much now. I'm tired from all the things. I will just support them whichever ways I can. But I can't deny the fact that I wasn't as high as when Pi was around. And during Pi con, after 3 shows, I got calmer. *laughs* But for NEWS, I remember I was high for all shows (except for the last as I was really tired) during LIVEx3. I went for 5 shows of NEWS. For Pi, it is always 4 huh? Like I can't exceed 4 shows. I could have gone for 6 shows for SBS!! But I didn't. But I was glad that I went for that 3rd show. :) Then for SGSB, I could only manage for 2 shows. But I got myself screened into the DVD.

Second encore, cute shige was amatteru~! "daite ii?" So cute! First he hugged Kei real tightly. Then he jumped a little on Tego. Then finally he took a small run before he jumped and hugged Massu real tightly.

weeeek!! (I remembered they sang Chankapaana 3 times, so I thought the second encore was also Chankapaana. I totally forgot about weeeek) And I thought they said Ikimasu~! Yes they did. I forgot who said it.

And back to my previous topic, EroP, I went for all 3 shows in Yokohama and fukuoka. Thank goodness for my last minute I was glad I went for Fukuoka. It was really a very corner seat, but I was very sure Pi saw my uchiwa. Although I still don't understand why he gave a sorry kind of look. Actually at first he wasn't looking at my side. But then suddenly he looked at my uchiwa, so I knew it was that moment. Then he had that sorry look, and he turned.

Shige and his "mou ikkai". *laughs* Chankapaana again~ By the way, there was one song, a camera man came to my side and started shooting my way. Did he take me down as well? I hope he did. And I hope I'll debut on NEWS dvd too. I had my debut in SGSB though. But it was all by chance. I wasn't even supposed to be there. I just happened to be caught. If only I got shot into Pi's EroP. But it was Yoyogi right? But it's alright. I got that moment of my life. Like a dream.

Alright, finally the concert is ending. I shall end too~ tsukareta~ *laughs* What's with this? I am not even attending the concert~ Just listening to it. *laughs*

Dilemma

Nothing beats reminiscing concerts while listening to recordings. :) Yokohama Day 1. :) Though I have already written on Twitter, I want to repeat this again. "It is a bliss to be still able to listen to Pi singing Kibou Yell."

Anyway regarding the title, I have some thoughts again. As usual. *laughs* Kibou yell. What a long history behind this song, I think. 

I got to like NEWS because of this song. I didn't like Cherish then. Not other songs. But when I heard Kibou Yell, I immediately like it and especially after I saw the PV. I don't know if it was because of Pi in that PV or what, but that was when I started to like NEWS. Then I got to saw other performances, with the MSta medley of Sayaendou and Hoshi wo Mezashite most imprinted in my mind. Then I knew they released Hoshi wo mezashite. Then I took notice of them. Then I finally started following them and everything like weeeek and Pacific came after that.

Not until Sakura Girl was released, Kibou Yell stayed as my top favourite all the way. Because Sakura Girl was really a special song that has the "setsunai" feeling that I really love. No any other songs can be compared to Kibou Yell if you're speaking of genki and all.

Anyway, probably I should do another post. Because I do want to update on NEWS concert too. 

Back to topic. I feel that my love for Pi is growing everyday. More and more. Unstoppable. Does it mean some parts of me actually preferred the solo Pi? 

Anyway, I took quite a long while to complete this post. I have decided to leave it here, half-done. *laughs* And I'm going to move on to another post, on NEWS concert first~

You are my love

Looking at the pictures above, I wonder why the second made my heart raced much more than the first. *laughs* It tells everything~

 やっぱり一番は一番か。 

Shall work on my sketch some of these days. Love his mentioning of 「海外」during the last concert at Yokohama. At last you acknowledged our presences!!

 That's all! Just wanted to show these 2 pictures~

Seating plan

Yeah..

sudden thought

Just have a sudden thought which I can only pen down here. I am your fan, Pi. Please know that I'm really your fan. And yes, I'm a NEWS fan too. I had been thinking so many times, giving so many answers to my friends telling them why I still support NEWS. But suddenly, I thought I know why. It is because NEWS was once under you, Pi. No matter what you help raising NEWS as a group. So as a fan of you, I want to protect what was once yours. Even though, from now onwards it is no longer part of you.

The thought that I wanted to pen down, was that because NEWS was once your precious thing, even if you choose to leave it aside now, I still want to treasure it as though it was still yours, and that hoping you'll return to it one day.

Therefore that was why I couldn't move on with NEWS. I think even though I've attended that concert, I have still not moved on yet. Not until I have this thought gone. So I guess more crying follows until the day when I can finally let go, just like how you did it.

More updates

I have a fantasy in my head right now. You know there were so many negative comments about Pi talking about NEWS, mentioning "Chankapaana" and even doing that call during con. I understand that it's because it's a NEWS thing right now, and that Pi no longer has relations with NEWS, and that NEWS haven't got the chance to do it yet.

But what if? What if NEWS mentioned Pi and Ryo during concert? What if NEWS addressed this matter? I had so many different scenarios going on in my mind.

- "Ero pi Ero pi Ero pi Senorita!" (Sung by Tego)
- Talking about Ero not having enough Erotic lyrics, Chakapaana wins
- Singing "nigesanai sono mama de~" (Massu)
- Saying Pi helped to promote, so they should mention Ero a little too
- Telling Pi he has the permission to use that call during his con from that moment onwards (arienai)
- Saying Pi messaged them all on that morning wishing them all the best and have an awesome concert (and I suddenly burst out crying just because of this thought) ok add in Ryo just so that I don't seem bias and Pi isn't trying that hard to bring back the nakayoshi

And yes I had doubts too. Like so many people saying that Pi is playing the pathetic/self-pity/sympathetic trick or something. It was all the mentioning of NEWS. But like a baka, I accept everything. I was the only baka who kept on shouting when he talked about Chankapaana and shouted Paana with my lungs. I don't care because any moments showing that he keeps track of NEWS make my day.

Solo Pi is so easy to move on with because he had so many solo events before. But 4nin NEWS is something that till now, I couldn't move on with. I thought I did. I didn't cry when I saw all those happenings, the photos or whatever. I probably can watch all their previous concerts without thinking that much. But just when I thought so, Full Swing perf on SC just made me cried hard again.

By the way, just before I forget, I was talking with someone regarding pi's letter. That how he said he wasn't able to handle solo and group work. I mentioned groups like SMAP Arashi and all always have solo works going on yet able to release singles and all. But I forgot one thing. They never had something like NEWS, where the members go solo and release singles or albums, which they had to promote on their own. Ryo had K8, Pi, Tegomass. That's enough. But just like what others said, if Pi had not wanted anything solo, Tegomass probably wouldn't have the chance to continue, NEWS would probably have more activities then.

2009 was the first year Pi decided to go ahead with a solo con. Wasn't that year Soukon got introduced too? It probably wasn't only because of Buzzer Beat and Code Blue 2 that he rejected. He probably already thought about that solo con and Loveless. Whatever it was, I don't really care now.

It was just that, my stand was wrong when I said Pi didn't have the ability. Because what he has to handle is much more than those in SMAP or Arashi.

I've calmed down, suddenly. Probably because of this solemn topic. But Pi I still love you. *laughs* I don't know how to stop. I don't know, I am a little scare too, that I may stop supporting NEWS. Though spending 50000 on one ticket doesn't seems to be the sign that I'm stopping. 

Spamming Pi songs right now because it fits the mood somehow. During second con, I noticed Pi's small secret about his hand on his pants just when he finished the first verse of Ero during encore. With this, I'll remember what happened. Just want to emphasize, Pi, I really love your real voice. It would have been if you could continue Nayami no mori no naka, sing kimi to kaze to mikazuki and many other songs. But I really love Candy~ :) And Perfect Crime!

There are so many perfs that stayed in my mind. Kari-na, Odoru Yoru, Baby Baby, Blood Diamond, Ero (maybe not), Perfect Crime, Nayami no Mori no Naka, Shiver, Hit the Wall... Odoru Yoru made me into EROMao mode. Blood diamond too.

The thing was, I forgot to take a picture on my last day!!! So I have to draw to remember my seat. *laughs*

I have decided that I shall not mention about my seating in full details until tomorrow ends. So I will wait till tomorrow then upload that picture that I've created. :)

Like what I have been saying the past few days, I have used up all my luck for Pi. My tian gong really bao you me so much. I was so depressed on Sat because I somehow felt that I didn't manage to get that one look from him no matter how hard I tried. Firstly on Fri I was a little affected. When Sat ended, I was totally depressed. And when Sun came, I was all prepared for that same seat which I had on Fri. Of course maybe moved a little. That was why when I went to the counter, I didn't even look at the ticket anymore. On the first day, I was curious but I knew it won't be that splendid. And when I was brought to my seat, I was already happy because I could see almost all stages clearly. I enjoyed my first day very much. Then on the second day, I was overjoyed when I saw my seat. But of course, lady luck wasn't by my side so I didn't grab any attention of Pi's. In the end I was so disappointed I went for the demachi. Even so, I still felt down. So the last day, with my gakkari and mental preparation for the same seat as day 1, I collected the ticket, still meddling with all my stuffs, I went into that special gate meant for international fans only. I wasn't even ready with my ticket when I entered, so I just handed it to the staff, he tore it, another checked my bag, I went in. Walking halfway down, reaching the inside of arena, I know I have to check my ticket to know where to go. Then I looked, I saw that miraculous word on the ticket.

I let out a shrill. Actually now that I tried to recall, it should be at least 3 shrills, consecutively. And I dashed to the nearest door, seeing that my number was written there, I entered. There were many fans who looked at me the moment I screamed. When I reached my seat, I just cried. However thinking of my make-up, I tried bearing it. Though still I cried a little.

So I got to know a few friends too due to that. Was a little too shy on the first day, especially when I rushed so much and only managed to reach girigiri. Then finally I left with the fans. :) Forgetting to take photo. Haha. Funny thing was that a lady approached us to ask where we all came from. She seemed amazed by the fact that we came over specially. And it was only until that moment, that I got to know that Japanese fans don't know that J-ticket caters to international fans now. For certain shows though.Yup.

Tomorrow shall be the last spurt!! I'm sad that I can't attend Yoyogi. It always has to be the end ah. Nevertheless, I got to see Toma and Tackey! (But the previous Yoyogi had Kei and Massu!!) Of course which will be impossible now. I may be lucky to always catch Toma and Tackey in action, but I fail badly in first con and last con. Always will not be able to make it. Or in fact I'll just miss that most important one somehow. But whatever it is, I wish for all the best for tomorrow. I am not going to ask for anything else I guess. It's just a simple seat. Nothing much to wish for too. *laughs* Just plainly for watching the whole place, Pi. :) I shall dance with you tomorrow!!

Alright, I might have missed out a lot of things that I wanted to say, but I shall just end here because soon I have to start preparing and bathing. All because of you Pi!!!

いい思い出作ってくれてありがとう。好きだぞ！シンガポールから、一緒に歩いてあげる。

Just a thought. I know Pi will not remember me. But that is alright. Slowly, step by step, I will make sure you remember this girl from Singapore. Because you may have many fans from Shanghai, Hong Kong, Taiwan, there is only this one girl from Singapore. Always there for you. You may not know that she's all alone, but there she will be somewhere.

I have never had good luck with idols. But until this extent, it is already what best could have happened to me.

Thank you.

Pi fan dazo~!

Alright.. Gotta update a little about the concert highlights~! If not I'll forget about all the good thing.

Most importantly, on the second day Pi used the "Chanka" "paana" call.. Then third day, it was the "Takki" "toma" call.

Pi's donald duck has a cute low tune at the end during the 3rd day..

Suddenly don't know what I want to type anymore. Cuz I took too long a time to chat with ying tong about NEWS con tickets. I can't believe I'm spending 50k on 1 ticket. That's too much. I used to spend that for 2 ~ 3 tickets even!!! Oh my. NEWS is killing me. Now I'll be left with no money for goods at all. I don't know how am I even going to survive. I haven't bought that extra tote bag that I wanted. I haven't pre-ordered that DVD at the venue. I haven't paid for my hostel at Fukuoka and Ikebukuro. I need to make sure I have enough to eat daily.

I want to buy my mangas too! How!! *cries* I need to withdraw money too. I really hope what my dad told me was true. That he will deposit a little amt to my bank. Even a little helps.

Ok back to Pi.

Something that I can't publicly say, but I'll remember in my heart. Your wet hair, your warm hands. I still can't remember was it one hand or 2 hands. Thank you for that special memory.

I am definitely going to get a hard time recovering this coming month end. And next month. I can't believe that next month is my birthday month yet I have to suffer. *cries*

NEWS you took my extra 8000 yen which is supposed to be for goods or other things!! (and then another 11K which I have to work hard to pay back a few months later.)

Alright, slightly MI but I don't care.

Pi papa pics (yokoari)
Pi shop photos
NEWS shop photos (to be frank I'm feeling lesser and lesser for them. I don't know why too. But I don't flail as much suddenly.)

Actually that's going to be all because I no longer have to care for singles, albums, or other stuffs except for photos. I don't buy much. But now that it's Pi which I had attended, I'm gonna buy.

Whatever it is, I shall start eating lesser (again) these few days, find cheaper food. And thank goodness I'm at Osaka. I think it's not that ex. Tml find a takoyaki for my craving (only splurging) and that's it. Fukuoka after it ended, still I'm gonna splurge on a direct shot I don't care.

Like what I said, I don't know what I'm writing anymore. Alright then I shall stop. I'll do it tomorrow~ :)

More hard truth

Well, I got to know more hard truth about Pi's leaving from NEWS. After knowing that, I can't help but feel hurt. Not sure if I should use the word hurt. But that's the first word that came to my mind. Knowing the quarrel, the deduction about his rejection to bangumi, how he dragged on for 3 years probably for the sake of testing. Everything.

I am not saying that I will no longer support him. Probably in this world, you have to sacrifice someone to save yourself too. (Learnt from kaiji 2 movie that I watched in the plane) So everyone fends for himself. There's nothing wrong about him choosing what he wants to do the most.

I'm just sad that how he probably didn't want to continue NEWS and did it half-heartedly. I like him for his voice. Which he probably is unable to perform as good as many other singers out there, but I don't mind. I like him for his style, probably my pace but sometimes the way he sees things amazes me very much. And I like him for how junsui he is actually. But is he? I'm not sure. I just hope that, his wavering led him on for 3 years. I hope it wasn't like what others had deducted, that he was using NEWS as a back-up just in case he fails.

But never once did he not say he felt safe in NEWS. Being protected.

He admitted that he lacked the leadership, or the ability, or he's just simply not kiyou.

All I want to voice out is that, I have liked and supported Pi so far, it is not as easy as a snap of fingers and I can dislike him immediately. Moreover, I do not wish to do so.

Yappari Pi fan da.

I am not finding excuses for Pi. He has to face the music. He is facing all the consequences now. But what I want to do is that, support Pi. Support the Pi that once had everything, but lost everything, and now slowly learning and trying his best to gain back what he used to have.

He may need this process to learn. To learn how to be stronger, how to be better, how to not take things for granted.

NEWS on the other hand, I am really sorry for how they had to go through those 3 years. Pi might not have yaruki. But I want to believe that during that 3 years, what we've seen are not made-ups. The bonds must have tightened. They must have felt bonding, teamwork and friendship too. I may be delusional. But that's what I want to believe.

The NEWS now is great. I admit. They probably thought of everything that fulfills the fans' desires. They probably has the best combi now and is able to shine much more than before. Like what I said before, Pi helped through the starting. I don't know. His efforts are recognised. But why are people only seeing his fault?

About Ryo being forced to leave NEWS, I am sorry too. Actually, suddenly, I just lost faith. Right now. I don't know what am I doing exactly. I don't know who I like and who I am supposed to support. I don't know. It is trying to tell me that, I'm liking a person who is harming the other group that I like. But the group that I like, is probably not what I like anymore since it is no longer the same as before. I want to see ryochan. Should I just rush down to the gorakudoh in the morning tml and buy one cheap ticket?

Fate is not with me. I will not go.

Anyway, I don't know if Pi and Ryo are still friends or not. But I am definitely depressed by the fact that that thing actually happened and it happened that way. Could you believe it was during March? Last year. There could have been. There could have been. But why.

I'm feeling sad now because, I like Pi so much, and not just because of his personality when he is alone. In fact all along what I have been following after I liked him was NEWS.

Anyway before I forget, today's concert. He mentioned Tego and I was screaming like hell. Then he mentioned Chankapaana. Of course, I don't know if he was saying that just to

1. Gain back trust/fame/nakayoshi with NEWS
2. trying to show that NEWS is not a taboo word in Pi, that he is not running away from the matter or them
3. show that he is still concern about NEWS (but in actual fact maybe a hypocrite)

To be frank, at one moment, I thought he should refrain from touching NEWS/matter/past matters. It was part of him, but I still think the time is not right yet. It may show that he's trying too hard. In actual fact, nobody knows if he actually still stays in touch with them.

I was happy. That he was willing to touch on NEWS. I was moved to tears when he performed Kibou yell. But, yappari 6P NEWS shika ikenai.

To some extent, I was so sensitive that he had some dance moves with the pinkie too. But before that, that pinkie in Chankapaana already reminded me of Daite Senorita. So using Pinkie has nothing wrong. Just that they all came at too similar timings.

Tegoshi no "koneko chan"... Yappari, 6P NEWS saikou. I just thought of how Tego will shout something random and mushy and Pi will just hit his head. That I don't think is made up. If they were too rigid, they wouldn't be able to do it.

Tabun Pi couldn't be a leader. But if he had stayed on in NEWS, with the leader changed, how would everything be like now?

Well, things can never be undone right now. I don't know how will it move on from here. All I hope is that they will all do well in the future.

Ryo chan, I want to support you too! But muzukashisugiru yo~ Too ex, too far.. If only I can see you this trip.

So a summary of Pi's con.

He sang Ai Texas, Daite, Nayami no mori no mannaka, dance jam, touch you, some other songs, live. Nayami is half song. + chorus. Daite and all are cuz of encore, so definitely live. Gomen ne had a very slow version!! It was good! But not live.

That will be all. Highlights are, nice con, good suspense, pretty omiyage :) and super hot dance moves.

Ok shall sleep now!!

Pi

To Tomohisa Yamashita

Today I am going to tell you what I've always wanting to tell you
And I am going to say it specially in front of all the people who have come to support you

You left NEWS
If you had the strength to unite the 6 people
If you had the strength to pull everyone together
Not only you'll be able to let the fans stay happy
You might not even have to leave NEWS
The choice which you've made now
Is the result of what you've been pondering over the last 3 years, right?
However, I think that with your departure
Among the fans of NEWS, some are angry, some are shocked, some hate you
Even if you want to apologize to these fans
Before you could find the right time to do that, time has slipped away
If you were more capable
Not only you could carry out your solo work
You would also be able to prevent emotions like these from developing and continue to move on
3 years ago
NEWS had their regular TV variety show for the first time
But during that time
You were continuously filming "Buzzer Beat" and then "Code Blue", so you had to decline appearing in the variety show
Before you made that decision,
you blamed yourself
Could you go on like this?
You've caused troubles to the members
You couldn't convince yourself too
What ordinary folks could do, you couldn't
Between group and individual work, you couldn't balance them well
Therefore you decided to leave yourself out
Began the journey on your own
The road ahead was tougher than you thought
I think you've realized it by now
When you were with NEWS
you were always first in Oricon ranking
The Yamashita Tomohisa in NEWS were also first then
But now you're not with NEWS anymore
Yamashita Tomohisa's song is also not first anymore
Do you have any regrets?
However, after you've accepted this reality
You should also realize that you are now able to accept more challenges ahead
"You only have one lifetime"
You strongly believe in this phrase
To those who decide to support the you who are restarting,
To those who are appearing in front of you today,
In order to let them believe that what you have chosen is what is best for everyone
You have to put in a lot more effort to work harder
Therefore, the you who are always not good at spoken words only have this to say to everyone


Yamashita appeared on the stage at this moment and he said:-


Everyone of you
You believe in me
You've come here today
I thank you from the bottom of my heart
And, from now onwards
please continue to watch over me

Credits Yamashita Tomohisa Facebook

Now I'm left with only 20+ minutes because of the loading... Nevermind about that.

I have to let out all my feelings within such short time anyway.

Yesterday saw a person on my fb talking about Pi being pathetic. And that she thanks him for leaving the group so that the rest could shine now. I don't know why but I got so mad when I saw it. I don't know what happened for her to say that out of a sudden, as NEWS getting oricon top was like a week ago already.

Then I got to know from Miyuki, that Pi had a letter written to himself read out during the Osaka concert. When I read the letter, I cried. Then when I went home, I listened to the concert audio, and more crying came. I don't know why I cried. But it is not because I pity him or what. I felt his struggle. His reprimands. His guilt or remorse. His helpless.

Miyuki said something that really struck my mind. She said, she convinced herself that it was Pi who brought her to NEWS. Then it struck me. Yes, it was Pi who led me to NEWS. I support NEWS. But right from the start, if it wasn't for Pi, I wouldn't have known NEWS. So those fans who are reprimanding him or saying that what he shed were crocodile tears, they definitely have never seen the hard work and effort that Pi had put in.

When he mentioned that he had to decline the offer when NEWS had the chance for a variety show, I didn't know he was undergoing such difficult times.

I didn't watch SGSB con that many times, so I don't remember what promises he had given with regards to NEWS. When he left NEWS, I was heartbroken because I could no longer see the 6 of them together. It was not about abandoning the 4, it was just that I wanted the 6 to be together.

Therefore right now, if there can be any chances of them being together again, it doesn't have to be a performance. If they are able to laugh alongside each other, that would be enough.

The Pi I know doesn't like admitting defeat, yet he did it in front of all the fans. Just how much courage does he need? I may not know how he doesn't confide in anyone even his family and friends, or others, but even for an ordinary person like me, having written such a letter and to admit such things in front of so many people, even I don't know if I could do it let alone Pi whom we all know are supposed to be all smooth-sailing with no problems?

Who expected that he would have to face such "low-tide" in his career?

Then I looked back on my posts before I even knew about this letter, I was indeed a Pi fan I thought. How I guard Pi and believe in him wholeheartedly. And none of my words wavered. I became even more certain and firmed when I read the letter.

I don't know if I still blame him for leaving NEWS, if I ever blamed him anyway, or at any time dislike him or anything. But right now, all I know is that HE is the one I have chosen, out of so many out there. I could have gone with anyone in NEWS yet Pi stayed in my heart all the while.

Yin once said there's only 1 man in your heart and that you will definitely choose him over anything else anytime. Because I said if NEWS and Pi had concert on the same day I wouldn't know what to choose or do. But she was sure that I will go to Pi's than NEWS's. She's so right. I just didn't want to admit that because Pi has left NEWS, I am going to choose Pi over NEWS anytime. I was just trying to be a good bench sitter or something. I know I can't. I still love NEWS. I love seeing them. But they are different already. They are.

No longer the 6P NEWS.

If Pi you were to doubt yourself for not being able to bond all 6 of you and bring them to a higher level, then I will have to doubt NEWS's existence in the first place.

You were the one who brought them to such level, and now you allow them to be able to carry on from a platform you had previously placed for them to shine even better. It was once your place and effort too.

Do not doubt yourself in it.

From now on, I will support you as always.

Jya, ijyoudeshita.

NEWS 始動。

Oh my goodness!!! I just went through a 40 minutes of whatever you call that!!! My eyes were tired from wearing contacts and now it's hot because of my crying just now!! I think I just screamed so loudly and for so many times that my neighbour might call for police anytime sooner~ Yabai~ Anyway let's go to the main point!!

NEW SINGLE!
NEW ALBUM! (BEST ALBUM)

TOUR~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frankly speaking, we fans already knew about the single and the best album because someone managed to retrieve the images from the countdown adobe file. Amazing isn't it? NEWS fans~ And so we even know that we have to vote for 4 songs that we like the most from the b-sides of singles and album songs that are not A-sides. I'll have a hard time. I shall start thinking now!

So that's how it went. Kei chan started the show and had everyone introducing themselves. Anyway today during Kei-chan NEWS all members showed up. They had random chit-chats, read emails and they kept hanging almost until the last moment. Not really the last moment, but they kept on saying they would be announcing something soon.

Then the time came. They had drum rolls. And super long drum rolls.. "We will be releasing a new single~!" (Or rather it just sounded like they are releasing a new song than single.) They have yet decided on the song. That was what they said.

Then the second drum rolls. "New best album"!!! Yeah! Of course I knew that as well too so not much of a surprise.

Then again, they still had another thing to announce. Drum rolls. And I thought it might be that 4 songs voting thing. I probably thought of that concert thing but frankly, I probably hope for no concert because there's no way I can go. Then.. They said it. "ツアー"... Wow..

I don't know how much emotions came flowing out and I was overwhelmed immediately. Tears came flowing and I just couldn't stop it. Then Tego started singing "this is the summer time" and I have a feeling that he is hinting it is going to be a summer concert. WHAT?!?!?!?! I have no money!!!

So earliest release of news of single and album will be around mid of May. Which means the release date will be mid of Jun or end of Jun. Then Massu's butai ends during the first week of Jul, having concert during Aug will be the optimum. Yes. Just let it be during my Adeka golden week please.

So end of the whole story. Their BGM for the countdown timer is very good! By the way. *laughs*

If I still manage to remember what my points on my previous post mean, I think I don't really have to explain them yet. So a short and new post for the time being. Because I really need to vent it somewhere.

Well, had a strange week I will say? Listened to NEWS songs and cried like so many times. NEWS songs used to bring me joy and energy! They still do, but sometimes you can't help it. That.. That reality just keeps haunting you. Even typing this post right now is making me feel sad already.

Seriously, I used to not even remember Ryo's birthday, Tego's birthday, Massu's and Shige's birthday too. Even now, I probably still couldn't remember Tego's without thinking a little harder. However, there's this date that stayed in my mind so firmly as if it was already rooted into my brain.

7 Oct 2011.

It is Toma's birthday~ So well, thanks to NEWS I managed to remember your birthday.

Suddenly thought of Marching J charity programme and MassuShige appeared in the earlier segment. Then almost nearing to the end, Pi appeared. The thing is, they did not appear together on stage. They once represented NEWS as a whole! It's exactly like before where 3 members appear for 6 members' behalves. Now it's 2 members appearing for 4 members' behalves and having that extra Pi whose appearance seemed legit enough as a NEWS member, yet not as a NEWS member.

I just wanted NEWS to be the same old NEWS I know that's all. Soukon was great!!! But how I wished RyoPi would appear at least once. But they did not. You knew that's gonna happen.

"OK Let's go!"

During work, checking out Jweb and I suddenly linked something up again~ Pi sang "OK Let's go!" in his Candy. Then he said that during route 66 which I then know why. Wait. So that does mean that he actually knew about this Candy song during that time, which was 2011 Nov, and already knew he was going to act in this Drama Saikou no Jinsei + his song "Ai, Texas" to be used as the theme song. Wow. So he actually knew tons of things before he even went for the trip. He probably knew these before he even announced his solo. Who knows. This suddenly made me think a lot. I didn't even realise all these until now. I just wanted to said that linkage and suddenly all these thoughts came across while I just thought about the first point. Amazing.

So anyway. Pi said "OK Let's go!" during route 66. Then last last week's NEWS RING (My goodness, I nearly typed "NEWSmile" and then I realised I was wrong. Sad. But thankfully not to the state of crying yet.) Tego had "re" and he had to continue with another word and it ended up with "Let's go!". So that's the link. "Let's go!" and "OK Let's go!".

Why after departure, still let me link so much between you guys? Though I'm happy to do so. Anyway loads of things to say I just realised. Point form again and I shall continue tonight at home.

• Pi's sex tape
• Comments about the above
• Aria's and my reactions
• K8's movie
• Flying to Japan for that movie
• My crying for NEWS or Pi when I heard HANABI
• Code Blue

That's all~ :)

Pi Ai Texas

Short review post of Pi's Ai Texas, because I know I wouldn't have the mood to do it anymore. *laughs* Now I'm looping the 2 b-sides because I got a little too accustomed to AT and I thought I should give it a rest. Starting with Candy then PC then AT ne~ :)

Candy
Love it the moment it started. And I thought, B sides are better than A side suddenly. It's a very fast tempo song which I think you'll get hooked up easily. And the fangirling part.. :) The rap!!!!!!!! I don't care who planned it, but it sounded like Kei was doing it for him~ Then I kept trying to recall which rap it was similar to, and I just remembered, it was Private Heart by Kei during N.E.W.S. :) I love Kei's rap so much, that this sounded so much like his voice and style! Oh my. I'm listening to this song right now as I'm typing and my tears are like almost flowing out because I thought of KoyaShige!!!! Those rap parts! One more time of listening to type more! And not to confuse with the next song~ :) And so many english words which some I found a little misleading. I thought I heard "fussy, fuxy"? And it turned out to be "foxy". *laughs* Ok brace for the rap! Oh yes! I remember already! Why Shige and KoyaShige. Vibration, performance during N.E.W.S or Pacific. Pacific. Yes. Shige was doing it for Massu. Right? No. Shige did for Kei. Gonna listen to it right away. Kei did for Tego. Massu for Shige. But somehow it was similar to Shige's and Kei's. So I think it's Massu's and Shige's that's similar. :)
In the end I spent almost an hour watching many other clips. Actually not many. Private Hearts, Love Addiction, Ginza Rhapsody. :) Now one last time Candy. Then I'll know the truth. :)
Love Addiction + Vibration. *laughs* Really. I love how I can still link member ai somehow. I don't care when they say Pi's doing NEWS songs with subpar singing. I don't care. I love this style. :)
So I love Candy! :) And Pi's ok let's go. No wonder. He said it in Route 66.
PERFECT CRIME
Now this song. First time, really couldn't get the tempo and melody of the song. Very clubbing song at first thought. Now I find it alright. And I'm getting to like the song very much easily. In fact the beat and the tempo is addictive. :) Just the "PC" part is a little... Anti climax in my opinion. I love how the chorus started and it went very beaty? *laughs* hen you pai zi. The way you sing the lyrics are like really syllabus by syllabus. :)
Can imagine very pretty light show for this song during concert. With stylish dance moves. Sleek dance moves I hope thought. Not the Tokyo Sifonietta (how to spell?) kind. Sifonita? Sifonetta? Check spelling... Sorry. Sinfonietta. Yeah~ I only missed out a "n". *laughs*
The lyrics sounds a little ecchi? But I like how there's "bara", "kuroi hane", "tenshi". Very rockish? *laughs*
That's all. It is nice. But not as addictive as Friday night yet. I want to listen to Candy again. But Ai, texas for now~

Ai, Texas
In the end, I miss this song after looping the b-sides. Hahaha.. Pi's voice is very pure somehow here. So clean with no covers. Anyway, I was listening to the instrumental ver. and I kept thinking about the drama. Not really fancy that narration part. It was ok to me. If I have to rank this with the other singles, I'm afraid this will not do really well. As well as just the A-sides or whole disc in general. This single has Candy to save the world, but the rest also have their strong b-sides.
But this song is very catchy. I'll be like "ai tekisasu~" every where I go. *laughs*

So, after all these. I shall conclude. Very Japanese and Johnny's style of A side, and even B sides remained not so westerned. I like it. :) Really prefer such kind of songs. Candy! :) It's really good! It's starting now. Ranking the A sides:

1. Loveless
2. Daite Senorita
3. One in a million
4. Hadakanbo
5. Ai, Texas

Ranking the singles in general:

1. Loveless
2. Daite Senorita
3. One in a million
4. Ai, Texas
5. Hadakanbo (but that's because it's only one song~)

Picking a favourite B sides from each disc:

Daite Senorita - Himawari
Loveless - After the rain/Dance Jam
One in a million - My dear
Ai, Texas - Candy

Not A-sides but good songs:

1. Hokago Blues
2. Colourful
3. World is yours
4. Ao
5. Love Song
6. Saigo no Love Song
7. Kuchitsuke de adios
8. Moonlight
9. After the rain
10. Dance Jam
11. My dear
12. Gomen ne Juliet
13. Time

Not going to write, have a feeling that I'm not so awake and also unsure of my criteria already. It is late. After my "Candy" ends, I will listen to Kuchitsuke de Adios and sleep.

Sad..

It has been such a long time since I blogged. Even though I promised to update regularly, seems like other things caught up and blogging doesn't seem so important then. But then I found no where to pen my thoughts down, especially when it's got to do with fandom.

Felt very much the need to drown myself in NEWS music and just started on the first song, Kesenai. This song has been in my head for a long time, probably weeks already. I really love the melody, Tego's voice and everything. Then just a while ago, after I updated FB about myself wanting to listen to NEWS, this song came up, I hummed a little, and tears just came flowing. A little exaggerated, but tears came. And today I have been down and down and crying every moment. I also cried a few days ago. I thought NEWS's splitting never meant that much to me anymore. I don't really know now.

A few days ago, forgot what happened, but I went to search for Winter Moon's piano piece and when I heard the intro immediately I burst into tears. I wonder what really happened that moment. Then I wrote a message down, on FB, reminding myself of what I felt, and not wanting myself to forget that moment ever. To always remember how much I treasure and love NEWS.

去年のことを思い出して、泣かせてしまいました。この瞬間、この気持ちを、忘れさせたくない。君たちを愛することも。何人になっても、ずっとこんなに応援したい。がんばってね、NEWS。

Just to quote what I wrote. I feel very much better now. I don't know if it's because I've calmed down or because I'm listening to NEWS songs. I will move on to Pi's song later too~ And Pi had some appearance on TV which was recorded on a news (I just typed NEW then realised I wrote the wrong kind) programme. It had offshots of Pi commenting on his departure from NEWS. It was saddening just reading the translations. Watching the real one just bring tears to my eyes all over again. Then he said, 「生きているから、僕たちは」, which was really heartwarming. Listening to Winter Moon is always a.. I don't know. Not exactly a torture, but not exactly a pleasure as well. It is playing now and it always brings tears. I don't know what I'm crying about, at all.

So some random updates about my fandom, NEWS and members. And ex-members, from 6-nin NEWS to be exact. Pi releasing single, Ai, Texas, and it has 7 versions all together including the ordinary one. When I said version, it just meant versions with different goodies. So let's start counting. LE A, LE B, RE, Lawson, Warner, TBS LE A, TBS LE B, TBS RE, cd shop LE A, LE B, RE. Actually, 11 types. But since TBS and CD shops has the same goodies for all version, counted as one instead. Total 7. -_-|| I am buying 20 copies in the end, spending almost $500 plus shipping I believe?! DVD is much cheaper. -__-||

That's all. I don't really know what to update about NEWS. Recently there's a radio show, k-chan news and all members appeared on it. It was a little noisy, but it sounded fun. It was short though, and when I heard the one someone uploaded on Youtube I asked if the song they played was the original. Seems like they don't edit the past songs, so you'll still hear Ryo's and Pi's voices in it. I really wonder how it felt like to NEWS when they heard these. They can't say things like Pi's or Ryo's voice made it sounded high, or comment anything about them at all. Koyamapi came up with that "You tachi, nani kata?" deshou? Ginza Rhapsody... Many many memories that they created together. I don't know. And to quote again, the message I typed to the uploader:

いいえ、ぜんぜんありません。ただ、どこにも六人の姿がもう見え­ないから、曲の方もそうになったかと思っただけ。それを知った後­、六人の存在が消せない実なようで、ちょっとうれしくなったね。­ごめんね、変なことを書いた。とにかく、ほんとうにありがとうご­ざいます～（文のどこが間違ってすみません、まだ上手じゃないん­です。）

So I mentioned about them no longer being 6nin everywhere.. I don't really know what to type now.. I guess I'll end here for now. I shall move on to another blog of mine. Feel like typing in nihongo somehow.. Now.. :)

Because I'm delusional. I tried looking through lists of songs of Johnny's groups. None of them has created a song fully by their group. Except NEWS. 6P NEWS. :) :D

Kinki kids has done it but like individually. One does the lyrics another will take charge of the song. Tegomass did it once. And also just wrote the lyrics as Tegomass once. But when it comes to doing a song together, no. And I just wonder, if it's really NEWS that came out with the song. If it is then it's really great because that means each one puts in effort for the song~

言いたいだけ

ね、ね、山ピーが「一所懸命」を使って、「一生懸命」じゃないです。
じゃどうする？
ところで、山ピーがすごく格好いいでしょう？
運転してるときこそ！
そして使ってる言葉も！

やばい～
もっと好きになりそう～
もっともっとよ！
じゃこれ以上です。

Point form because I have to sleep and be awake in 4 hours time!

• couldn't fall asleep
• watched route 66 in the end
• Pi was so cute!!! Especially when he speaks english!
• Gosh his english is good! Not fair!
• Ok so he got practices and notes before he went there, no wonder for his good english
• Actually, he's still a beginner~ Ok more motivation for me to learn good Japanese!!
• The lady asked him "why are you here?" and he hesitated for a while, because he didn't get the question. Yeah very good because I don't like him to be all perfect.
• HE LOOKS SO SO SO GOOD WHILE DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• I love him! More fangirling!
• Before sleeping, had to read that Jweb email and got myself excited for nothing. Because Pi has updates on his "GOODS" section and for once I thought it was Route 66 merchandise. It's just photos. But I still want them. Now. Because I know it will be full of smiles~ :)
• Then I went Johnny's net to look for information. And I had to click on that Jnet new year message.
• The main highlight of this post:
• Massu's "GET!" or 「ゲッツ」totally made me cry more than once. It's making me insane!! Turning me crazy!!
• Because Pi used that in his Xmas video, that he made for fans who bought his DVD!!
• I don't care if that's a trend in Japan now or what, Massu and Pi used it!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!
• Massu's driving me insane with his "GET!"!!!
• Then right after I repeated, I realised Tego and Kei said Pi's name!!
• And I watched again, and I cried again.
• At first Kei was saying something like "is this how he is always like in Tegomass" or something got to do with Tegomass.
• Then suddenly Tego continued saying like "Pi used that..." and it sounds like Pi was using that in the door or room beside or something. Then I realised Kei and Tego both looked to their left, it's as if Pi is watching them from there. 
• And suddenly they ended abruptly..
• Most importantly, it was cut off somewhere, and Kei was looking at his left too and he had an "EH?" reaction and said "Eh?!" if I didn't remember wrongly.
• The thing is, it was cut off right at that moment.
• I wonder if Pi walked by or something and they saw him and kei made some contact with him or what. I don't know.
• Lastly, Ryo only contributed a "yeah~" and "Achooo~" in K8's video. 
• It made me remember MassuPi's "Just Do It!"... *laughs*

Gotta sleep because I'm only left with 4 hours and less. Argh~ I hate you NEWS and Pi for making it such a hard time for me right now!! Plus K8 whom I also occasionally check through now~ 

Lastly...

Massu's making me insane with his 「ゲッツ」!!!!! Because it's like finally I'm seeing some member ai~ When someone's not around anymore. Ahhhhhhhh... My tears.. 

Never Ending Wonderful Story @ Johnny's Countdown

RT @satochicchi: 東京ドームにいたNEWSガールと、テレビの前で見守っていた全てのNEWSガールに伝えたい。東京ドームで新生NEWSが希望を歌ってた時、亮ちゃんは腕を組んでモニター見上げて、微動だにしなかったんだ。曲の間ずっと。メンバーも、エイターも、京セラドームにいたみんなが踊っていた中で。
RT @satochicchi: 亮ちゃんのあんな顔、見たことない。 頭から離れない。きっとずっと、あの顔は忘れられない。 亮ちゃんがあんな顔するなんて、どんな思いだったんだろうと思うと、胸が苦しくて苦しくてたまらない。

The above was posted by my FB list on FB. Thank goodness for her if not I'll never know the backstage news. Or NEWS. I just burst out crying when I read that. And I almost understood what kind of face and feeling that Ryo might be showing. When I didn't really fully try to understand the text. Now I shall try to understand the whole situation again.

I hope I interpreted it correctly. So when NEWS was performing Kibou Yell, Ryo was looking up at the screen totally still. All the while during the song. And by the description, Ryo was holding his arms, looking up at the monitor, totally standing still.

I shall continue later. Yesterday was a long day for me and so much to blog about.

EDIT@0356

Anyway, don't really have the time to update. So I'll do it in point form again!!! Love point forms~

• Subscribed to IPTV
• Watched JCD and CDTV together!
• Missed NEWS's comment in JCD for someone's performance in CDTV. Forgot who.
• When K8 appeared, I mistook the opening tune for Sakura Girl and screamed OUT LOUD at home.
• Then I realised it was K8. And I forgot what song they performed.
• And Ryo was a darling dressing up as a girl!
• NEWS performed Kibou Yell (don't know why but felt that I had some feelings that will be the most touching song ever if Shinsei NEWS were to perform any songs) and I cried so hard. Wasn't even able to concentrate on the song. 
• NEWS Saikou!
• No Pi. Had mental preparations but still had expectations.
• Love K8 suddenly. Sudden gush of feelings yesterday while watching
• Saw Pi in CDTV. kakkoi!!!!!!!!!!!
• I think he sang live. Full song. Really. Live. Full song. :) :) :)
• Even chorus. I think Pi really sang live.
• I think somehow during concerts, Pi must have sang live too. (Being delusional somehow)
• Saw Jin in CDTV.
• Saw Kisumai but I wonder why were they there too. And they had that soba!! I want! And they said it's Johnny's teiban shougatsu soba. Ok. So I wondered if Pi had it too. Then I remembered about Jin. *laughs* So I wondered if the two of them had it. I bet that's the one that Koyashige had during that year when NEWS was suspended.
• Then I can't help thinking probably Pi was at the JCD live backstage somehow. 
• Then today I was stupid enough to watch last year's JCD. I cried when NEWS performed. Especially seeing that Ryo was performing together with them.
• Then I also read FB where someone posted about a fan's observations during K8 Countdown concert, which was above, and I was crying hard.
• Ryo why must you!! You're like 「見守ってるから、頑張るぞ！大丈夫、できるよ！離れってもここにいるよ！」それとも「こんな感じですか？もう一緒に歌ってられない。ここに立っただけ。」 .
• Suddenly I'm tearing thinking of Ryo's facial expressions and thoughts that he might be having during that time. 
• The truth is I want to find someone I can cry with. And about stupid things like NEWS can never be 6P again.
• I just spent some time doing a JE secret.
• How can they name themselves N.E.W.S. when they did not deliver their promise as N.E.W.S.? I mean Never Ending Wonderful Story.

I guess I shall end here and move on with another thing. That is 2011 meme that I stole somewhere~


EDIT@0505

I forgot to mention that I have questions for Pi. At first I didn't submit the one on Jweb and I was so sad. I could have told him I'm learning japanese and I found it hard. So how does he learn his english and improve. Ya. Or how should I study Japanese to make it better. Now I have another question. I want to ask him: Name a memory you had with 6P NEWS, the most memorable one or that you treasure very much or left a deep impression in your mind, during work and during private life. I could already think of some memories for work wise. Such as 24hrTV, comeback during 06-07 JCD, Pacific Tokyo Dome, 'share'... Personal, I think he may mention about that xmas party, hot spring, meal (but still during concert tour trip, so partially work). Or rather, I think I want to ask him, what did "NEWS" meant to his life until now. Ya..

EDIT@0600

I forgot to mention one thing. I wasn't really happy at all. But yet, I managed to squeeze my face into the fan recording of pi's documentary. YEAH. My uchiwa wasn't even shown properly. I would rather my uchiwa to show than my face to show. Pi!!!!